Post by Avenger on Sept 19, 2006 23:52:18 GMT -5
The Post Heard Round the World
Well, with such an eloquently worded invitation, how could I refuse...
And with those immortal words the magnificent Avenger was birthed unto the RS.net boards. It was a time of uncertainty, a time of change. The world the young Avenger entered was in flux. Would the randomness that this small boy brought with him help to save this world, or prove to be its undoing?
The Beginning of the Beginning
New to the forums and big fan of KP. I really enjoy the work of everyone involved with the show, but it was Stephen Silver's inventive character designs that initially drew me in. I really enjoy his art style. (and have to also thank Gabe from Penny Arcade for introducing me to Mr. Silver's work in the first place.)
www.silvertoons.com/silvertoons/
Go visit Stephen Silver's site, if you haven't already. There's actually some pretty cool KP stuff there if you look for it.
And if you like, go ahead and welcome me to the forums. If not... meh.
Hey, it's not the end of the world.
... is it?
Singing the praises of Stephen Silver, Avenger began his slow climb up the imposing, soul-crushing mountain that is RS.net. There were many obstacles along the way, but there were many people early on for Avenger to step on and carry himself over these hurdles:
I'm the local airplanefreak and virtual WWII pilot here .
Hope to see more of you soon .
MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson
Trollis appeared out of the wild blue yonder, landing his favored 37 Viggen and pulling to a stop inches from where Avenger stood. The handsome pilot leapt from the cockpit, offering his hand in friendship towards Avenger. "Welcome!" He announced heartily. Avenger shook the man's hand in gratitude, glad to see that someone had come for him so quickly. Trollis offered Avenger a ride, and the first 150 posts just flew by. (Unfortunately, Trollis was later disgraced in the well published SpamGate affair, and forced to resign from the boards. )
A man emerged from the fog and shadows, blocking Avenger's path. He was called, Nabusan, the infamous Homosexual Arab Briton. He flashed a large, menacing smile at Avenger, the street lights glinting off his pearly whites. He reached inside his long, black trench coat and brandished a carving knife, the metal glinting in similar fashion to the mysterious man's teeth. "We finally meet..." the man stated coldly, Britishly, "It is time... time for... pie!" Nabusan pulled his other hand from behind his back, revealing an enticing blueberry pie.
"Pie!" Another British voice intoned from the darkness. Fusion Fox came running towards Avenger and Nabusan, his pristine, white lab coat flowing majestically behind him.
Make yourself at home, I'm sure you'll make loads of friends ;D
*Leaves to watch Cowboy Bebop* ;D
He quickly introduced himself to Avenger, then began to hastily devour the pie along with the other Englishman, while slathering himself in whale blubber. Avenger turned and walked away in disgust.
"Why couldn't it have been cherry... ?"
Avenger recalled the words spoken to him so long ago. He held back the tears, trying not to let the pain overtake him. He'd done so good for so long, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. He took another swig from the bottle of amber liquid in his right hand, his thoughts traveling back over his stay in Malaysia. Traveling back to johnnys.
"So young... what a waste... I never should have introduced him to the naco..."
Welcome!
Glad to see you had time to register
Kimmyfan should be along soon with your - er- "Instructional Video?"
Yuri Sisteble called to Avenger from his apartment window. No sooner had he said this, a stock car came screaming down the street, slamming hard into Avenger and sending him sailing through the air. He landed in a crumpled heap a few yards away.
kimmyfan48 emerged from the vehicle walking over to Avenger. He looked down at the broken body in front of him in disdain.
Here is an instructional video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k_PocrZvFc&mode=related&search=
kimmyfan48 chucked the tape down forcefully, catching Avenger squarely in the forehead, then turned and swaggered back to the car. He looked back towards Avenger and said:
He spat in Avenger's general direction then sped off into the night. Darkness closed in around Avenger as he faded off into a 1950s film noir...
I so hope you love it here! ;d
The dame's sultry voice hung in the air like cigar smoke, swirling around Avenger's head and clouding his senses. He leaned back in his chair, listening to her sob story. Of course, he didn't believe a word of it. This was, of course, Ashley Benlove, the Glomp Princess, the Notorious ABL.
"You just got to help me," Ashley pleaded, feigning a flirtatious tone and fluttering her eyelashes. "Pwetty pwease..."
"Sorry, sister. You're humping the wrong leg here," Avenger retorted, dryly. With that, ABL pulled a revolver out of her elegant purse and fired two shots into Avenger's chest. She turned and sauntered out the door of his office, smoke trailing from the barrel of her gun.
"I hate to see her go, but I sure love to watch her leave..." Avenger's head fell and he breathed his last...
Avenger awoke to the vision of an angel, vigorously scrubbing soap into his brain. Quin Separable looked down at him, smiling. "We thought we lost you..." she said. Avenger looked around and there was everyone, glad to see he was finally awake. Nabusan, Ashley, Fusion, kimmyfan, johnny. Dracko19 leaned in through the window.
"So the little guy is finally awake," he added. "Good... now don't spam up my boards again!" Dracko slapped them all and ducked back out the window.
"Wow... I just had the strangest dream... Nabu was pregnant, and everyone kept trying to kill me. And you were there, and you, and you too. And... you I've never seen before."
"Hi, I'm Captain Desiro!" Avenger felt the cold, stainless steel of a frying pan across his temple, and then nothing. "Good night, sweet prince..."
Hicka-bicka-boo? Hoo-sha!
[glow=red,2,250]RETSU!!![/glow]
Epcot Trip
Thus began the long, arduous trip to Epcot Center. Captain Desiro managed to round up a swell double-decker bus and people clambered for the chance to be one of the few lucky RS.net members to get a seat.
Fusion and Wallace were the first two members to be permitted on the bus. They perished from starvation while waiting for all the rest of the members to fill up the bus.
Nabusan entered next and quickly retreated to the upper level to stay away from the two corpses. Ashley followed behind Nabusan, but was accosted by the Mona Lisa, who punched her in the throat for stealing her look.
Whisper joined the trip too, but nobody noticed him (because he was in the shadows.) Doctor Fabelhaft made his way onto the bus as well, but kept making them stop to buy more bling at every mall they passed.
Mr. Potty and Alicia jumped aboard next, but just made out the whole way down there. Nothing interesting happened. Sorry.
Avenger finally made his appearance on the bus, although he was forced to sit all the way in the back. This was even worse than it seems, because there was a rabid monkey hiding in the bathroom. It bit Avenger several times causing him to pass out and sleep through the entire trip.
The bus had to backtrack to the UK and pick up Hate and Lord M, putting the members 2 weeks off schedule. (And 20,000 leagues under the sea for a period as well.) Hate talked about naughty parts the whole time and Lord M couldn't stop blushing.
Loser7 threw herself in front of the bus. Everyone gasped, then rushed out and dragged her on board. She suffered no serious injuries. However, during a rest stop near an emu farm, one of the emus escaped. The farmers rustled up L7, mistaking her for the wayward bird, and carried her back to the farm. The emu climbed aboard the bus and took L7's seat. No one noticed the difference.
Joeman came rolling up behind the bus on his skateboard and managed to lasso the bumper. He was doing well for a good 20 miles, but while going around a steep curve on a mountain, the tether broke, sending Joe tumbling over a cliff. He was laid up in the hospital for a couple weeks, but because Desiro was terrible with directions, managed to join back up with the bus before it reached Epcot.
The members eventually reached their destination: Epcot Center. Time for some Kim Possible Adventure! They exuberantly rushed to the front gates, tackling one of the employees, demanding their Kimmunicators.
"I'm sorry..." the employee stammered. "We already finished the test phase of the Kim Possible World Showcase Adventure. But you're all welcome to come back next year when we implement the final version."
There was a crash of lightning and the heavens opened up, drenching the distraught members in monsoon level rain. They all limped slowly back to the bus, defeated.
The RS.net bus on its way to Epcot:
The RS.net bus, upon arrival at Epcot:
The E! True Hollywood Story: "Random Much?"
It began on a lazy Sunday in August and quickly became one of the most popular postings in internet history. For four straight weeks, Avenger's "Random Much?" captured the hearts and minds of every web-goer in the world. But, with meteoric rise there comes the inevitable tragic downfall.
Tonight, sex, drugs, and corn on the cob. The story of "Random Much?" - The E! True Hollywood Story.
Avenger's life began inside a test tube. Not a Petri dish, as is what is commonly used for the misnomer "Test Tube Babies." No, he was inside an actual test tube. He was a rather elongated baby, and perhaps this is what led to his eventual random and sometimes psychotic behaviors. Not much else is known about the rest of Avenger's life before hitting it big with "Random Much?" Varying reports indicate he was a dog sled captain, deep sea fisherman, and at one time a South African Marxist (although it was later revealed he merely knew a South African Marxist). And of course there are the rumors of his many sordid affairs, affairs with the likes of Brooke Shields, Courtney Love, and Linda Ellerbee. But none of this has ever been proven.
What is known is that on August 20, 2006, Avenger released his first rant, entitled "Corn on the Cob"... and stunned the world! His poignant ideas and manic manner of discussion made him an instant icon. The media just ate it up. Avenger quickly found himself on the cover of every major publication in the world. Even Cat Fancy. His face everywhere and his popularity at an all-time high, Avenger did what every self-respecting famous person does... turned to drugs and prostitutes.
Avenger lost himself in a sea of depravity. As long-time friend "The Kid" recalls, "It was pretty crazy. He had just lost himself in this fantasy world. I mean, the "Kim Possible" addiction should have been the first sign. Soon it was more than that... heroin, cocaine... naked mole rats! He just lost it, man."
By the end of the third week of "Random Much?" it was becoming painfully obvious that Avenger was cracking under the pressure... and the effects of the crack. Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle, co-creators of the hit animated series "Kim Possible," recall one particularly terrifying night:
Police arrived and tried to take Avenger into custody.
After the incident, Avenger was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and aggravated spamming. The judge ordered him to enter a rehabilitation clinic.
Avenger remains in rehab, currently residing at the Betty Ford Clinic. Doctors say he is making progress. They've even allowed him to continue to post his rants, allowing him to resume some semblance of a normal life.
While Avenger may recover, it is hard to say whether the same will be true of the popularity of "Random Much?"
Next time, on The E! True Hollywood Story: Waterfall - KiGo shipper and male stripper.
The Ending of the Beginning
As the story of Avenger's first month at RS.net comes to a close, let us take a look at where he is now, and where he is headed in the future:
- He has survived two Flame Wars, including the "Thread that shall not be named," emerging relatively unscathed.
- He has created his own army.
Say Goodnight, Gracie
Drakken: since when do you build stuff? You usually send Shego in to steal for you...
Grrr... just, give me the fuel. I'll put it in the rocket myself. Just be prepared to launch once I get that info from Luqkim!
Avenger's 999th post... who knows what the future holds for Avenger, and the entirety of RonStoppable.net.
Dancing with the Stars?
A tea party on the moon?
"Kim Possible" Season 5?
Only time will tell...
avenger said:
yamidymlos said:
Hey, Anverger, why not you join the forum?Well, with such an eloquently worded invitation, how could I refuse...
And with those immortal words the magnificent Avenger was birthed unto the RS.net boards. It was a time of uncertainty, a time of change. The world the young Avenger entered was in flux. Would the randomness that this small boy brought with him help to save this world, or prove to be its undoing?
The Beginning of the Beginning
avenger said:
Booyah!New to the forums and big fan of KP. I really enjoy the work of everyone involved with the show, but it was Stephen Silver's inventive character designs that initially drew me in. I really enjoy his art style. (and have to also thank Gabe from Penny Arcade for introducing me to Mr. Silver's work in the first place.)
www.silvertoons.com/silvertoons/
Go visit Stephen Silver's site, if you haven't already. There's actually some pretty cool KP stuff there if you look for it.
And if you like, go ahead and welcome me to the forums. If not... meh.
Hey, it's not the end of the world.
... is it?
Singing the praises of Stephen Silver, Avenger began his slow climb up the imposing, soul-crushing mountain that is RS.net. There were many obstacles along the way, but there were many people early on for Avenger to step on and carry himself over these hurdles:
trollis said:
Welcome to a great place .I'm the local airplanefreak and virtual WWII pilot here .
Hope to see more of you soon .
MvH Anders "Trollis" Bernhardsson
Trollis appeared out of the wild blue yonder, landing his favored 37 Viggen and pulling to a stop inches from where Avenger stood. The handsome pilot leapt from the cockpit, offering his hand in friendship towards Avenger. "Welcome!" He announced heartily. Avenger shook the man's hand in gratitude, glad to see that someone had come for him so quickly. Trollis offered Avenger a ride, and the first 150 posts just flew by. (Unfortunately, Trollis was later disgraced in the well published SpamGate affair, and forced to resign from the boards. )
nabusan said:
Hey Avenger! Glad you've finally signed up! I'm nabusan - the Resident slash shipper, Ron lover, fan artist and general weirdo! I hope you have a great time on this forum! Think of rs.net as a home away from home. PS. You should totally start an Ask me thread in the 'Members Section' of the 'Fun Board'.A man emerged from the fog and shadows, blocking Avenger's path. He was called, Nabusan, the infamous Homosexual Arab Briton. He flashed a large, menacing smile at Avenger, the street lights glinting off his pearly whites. He reached inside his long, black trench coat and brandished a carving knife, the metal glinting in similar fashion to the mysterious man's teeth. "We finally meet..." the man stated coldly, Britishly, "It is time... time for... pie!" Nabusan pulled his other hand from behind his back, revealing an enticing blueberry pie.
"Pie!" Another British voice intoned from the darkness. Fusion Fox came running towards Avenger and Nabusan, his pristine, white lab coat flowing majestically behind him.
fusionfox said:
Hay welcome to the board, I'm glad you finally decided to join Make yourself at home, I'm sure you'll make loads of friends ;D
*Leaves to watch Cowboy Bebop* ;D
He quickly introduced himself to Avenger, then began to hastily devour the pie along with the other Englishman, while slathering himself in whale blubber. Avenger turned and walked away in disgust.
"Why couldn't it have been cherry... ?"
johnnys said:
Welcome to the board! I'm sure you'll have a great time here! Avenger recalled the words spoken to him so long ago. He held back the tears, trying not to let the pain overtake him. He'd done so good for so long, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. He took another swig from the bottle of amber liquid in his right hand, his thoughts traveling back over his stay in Malaysia. Traveling back to johnnys.
"So young... what a waste... I never should have introduced him to the naco..."
yurisisteble said:
Silver's work is awesome.Welcome!
Glad to see you had time to register
Kimmyfan should be along soon with your - er- "Instructional Video?"
Yuri Sisteble called to Avenger from his apartment window. No sooner had he said this, a stock car came screaming down the street, slamming hard into Avenger and sending him sailing through the air. He landed in a crumpled heap a few yards away.
kimmyfan48 emerged from the vehicle walking over to Avenger. He looked down at the broken body in front of him in disdain.
kimmyfan48 said:
Hi! I am kimmyfan48, the site's unoffical meteorologist and NASCAR expert...Here is an instructional video:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k_PocrZvFc&mode=related&search=
kimmyfan48 chucked the tape down forcefully, catching Avenger squarely in the forehead, then turned and swaggered back to the car. He looked back towards Avenger and said:
kimmyfan48 said:
What does it mean...just be youtself.He spat in Avenger's general direction then sped off into the night. Darkness closed in around Avenger as he faded off into a 1950s film noir...
ashleybenlove said:
Hello! Nice to meet you! Welcome to the board! Love your show! I might be the reason you need Quin's supply of Brain Soap! Haha. I am Ashley Benlove: philosopher, a passionate writer, K/R shipper, a partial Kigo shipper, the Princess of Glomping, and the Board's Resident Erotica Writer! I may be insane, but I'm perfectly harmless. I so hope you love it here! ;d
The dame's sultry voice hung in the air like cigar smoke, swirling around Avenger's head and clouding his senses. He leaned back in his chair, listening to her sob story. Of course, he didn't believe a word of it. This was, of course, Ashley Benlove, the Glomp Princess, the Notorious ABL.
"You just got to help me," Ashley pleaded, feigning a flirtatious tone and fluttering her eyelashes. "Pwetty pwease..."
"Sorry, sister. You're humping the wrong leg here," Avenger retorted, dryly. With that, ABL pulled a revolver out of her elegant purse and fired two shots into Avenger's chest. She turned and sauntered out the door of his office, smoke trailing from the barrel of her gun.
"I hate to see her go, but I sure love to watch her leave..." Avenger's head fell and he breathed his last...
quinseparable said:
Little late here, but welcome! Glad to see you've joined!Avenger awoke to the vision of an angel, vigorously scrubbing soap into his brain. Quin Separable looked down at him, smiling. "We thought we lost you..." she said. Avenger looked around and there was everyone, glad to see he was finally awake. Nabusan, Ashley, Fusion, kimmyfan, johnny. Dracko19 leaned in through the window.
dracko19 said:
Welcome. Glad to see a lurker make the plunge"So the little guy is finally awake," he added. "Good... now don't spam up my boards again!" Dracko slapped them all and ducked back out the window.
"Wow... I just had the strangest dream... Nabu was pregnant, and everyone kept trying to kill me. And you were there, and you, and you too. And... you I've never seen before."
"Hi, I'm Captain Desiro!" Avenger felt the cold, stainless steel of a frying pan across his temple, and then nothing. "Good night, sweet prince..."
Hicka-bicka-boo? Hoo-sha!
[glow=red,2,250]RETSU!!![/glow]
Epcot Trip
nabusan said:
It would! OMG - we have to organize an rs.net field trip! We can hold the Kimvention one day, and a day out to Epcot on the other!Thus began the long, arduous trip to Epcot Center. Captain Desiro managed to round up a swell double-decker bus and people clambered for the chance to be one of the few lucky RS.net members to get a seat.
Fusion and Wallace were the first two members to be permitted on the bus. They perished from starvation while waiting for all the rest of the members to fill up the bus.
Nabusan entered next and quickly retreated to the upper level to stay away from the two corpses. Ashley followed behind Nabusan, but was accosted by the Mona Lisa, who punched her in the throat for stealing her look.
Whisper joined the trip too, but nobody noticed him (because he was in the shadows.) Doctor Fabelhaft made his way onto the bus as well, but kept making them stop to buy more bling at every mall they passed.
Mr. Potty and Alicia jumped aboard next, but just made out the whole way down there. Nothing interesting happened. Sorry.
Avenger finally made his appearance on the bus, although he was forced to sit all the way in the back. This was even worse than it seems, because there was a rabid monkey hiding in the bathroom. It bit Avenger several times causing him to pass out and sleep through the entire trip.
The bus had to backtrack to the UK and pick up Hate and Lord M, putting the members 2 weeks off schedule. (And 20,000 leagues under the sea for a period as well.) Hate talked about naughty parts the whole time and Lord M couldn't stop blushing.
Loser7 threw herself in front of the bus. Everyone gasped, then rushed out and dragged her on board. She suffered no serious injuries. However, during a rest stop near an emu farm, one of the emus escaped. The farmers rustled up L7, mistaking her for the wayward bird, and carried her back to the farm. The emu climbed aboard the bus and took L7's seat. No one noticed the difference.
Joeman came rolling up behind the bus on his skateboard and managed to lasso the bumper. He was doing well for a good 20 miles, but while going around a steep curve on a mountain, the tether broke, sending Joe tumbling over a cliff. He was laid up in the hospital for a couple weeks, but because Desiro was terrible with directions, managed to join back up with the bus before it reached Epcot.
The members eventually reached their destination: Epcot Center. Time for some Kim Possible Adventure! They exuberantly rushed to the front gates, tackling one of the employees, demanding their Kimmunicators.
"I'm sorry..." the employee stammered. "We already finished the test phase of the Kim Possible World Showcase Adventure. But you're all welcome to come back next year when we implement the final version."
There was a crash of lightning and the heavens opened up, drenching the distraught members in monsoon level rain. They all limped slowly back to the bus, defeated.
The RS.net bus on its way to Epcot:
The RS.net bus, upon arrival at Epcot:
The E! True Hollywood Story: "Random Much?"
It began on a lazy Sunday in August and quickly became one of the most popular postings in internet history. For four straight weeks, Avenger's "Random Much?" captured the hearts and minds of every web-goer in the world. But, with meteoric rise there comes the inevitable tragic downfall.
Tonight, sex, drugs, and corn on the cob. The story of "Random Much?" - The E! True Hollywood Story.
Avenger's life began inside a test tube. Not a Petri dish, as is what is commonly used for the misnomer "Test Tube Babies." No, he was inside an actual test tube. He was a rather elongated baby, and perhaps this is what led to his eventual random and sometimes psychotic behaviors. Not much else is known about the rest of Avenger's life before hitting it big with "Random Much?" Varying reports indicate he was a dog sled captain, deep sea fisherman, and at one time a South African Marxist (although it was later revealed he merely knew a South African Marxist). And of course there are the rumors of his many sordid affairs, affairs with the likes of Brooke Shields, Courtney Love, and Linda Ellerbee. But none of this has ever been proven.
What is known is that on August 20, 2006, Avenger released his first rant, entitled "Corn on the Cob"... and stunned the world! His poignant ideas and manic manner of discussion made him an instant icon. The media just ate it up. Avenger quickly found himself on the cover of every major publication in the world. Even Cat Fancy. His face everywhere and his popularity at an all-time high, Avenger did what every self-respecting famous person does... turned to drugs and prostitutes.
Avenger lost himself in a sea of depravity. As long-time friend "The Kid" recalls, "It was pretty crazy. He had just lost himself in this fantasy world. I mean, the "Kim Possible" addiction should have been the first sign. Soon it was more than that... heroin, cocaine... naked mole rats! He just lost it, man."
By the end of the third week of "Random Much?" it was becoming painfully obvious that Avenger was cracking under the pressure... and the effects of the crack. Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle, co-creators of the hit animated series "Kim Possible," recall one particularly terrifying night:
Bob: "There was a knock on our door and we opened it to find this deranged, disheveled man standing there. He had them crazy eyes. At first we thought it was Joeman."
Mark: "Yeah."
Bob: "But it wasn't. And then he started ranting, screaming about spiders, and begging us to beam "Kim Possible" directly into his brain. And, I mean, we would have, too. But we didn't even know the guy."
Police arrived and tried to take Avenger into custody.
Bob: "They had to mace him like 3 times. And I mean, they hit him in the head. With an actual mace. Three times!"
Mark: "Yeah."
After the incident, Avenger was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and aggravated spamming. The judge ordered him to enter a rehabilitation clinic.
Avenger remains in rehab, currently residing at the Betty Ford Clinic. Doctors say he is making progress. They've even allowed him to continue to post his rants, allowing him to resume some semblance of a normal life.
While Avenger may recover, it is hard to say whether the same will be true of the popularity of "Random Much?"
Next time, on The E! True Hollywood Story: Waterfall - KiGo shipper and male stripper.
The Ending of the Beginning
As the story of Avenger's first month at RS.net comes to a close, let us take a look at where he is now, and where he is headed in the future:
- He has survived two Flame Wars, including the "Thread that shall not be named," emerging relatively unscathed.
Through a tireless promise to never take anything seriously, he has proven that it is possible to not get so impassioned in your beliefs that you forget the feelings of others.
- He has created his own army.
Beginning as a modest "One Synthodrone Army" Avenger's forces have grown to nearly a dozen people, standing behind him now, ready, willing, and able to do his bidding. They have become a well oiled machine, even adopting their own insignia and colors, and are now poised to complete their first successful operation...
Say Goodnight, Gracie
avenger said:
Retsu: stop poking the blueberry!Drakken: since when do you build stuff? You usually send Shego in to steal for you...
retsu said:
already do that :3 *gives the rocket fuel* but i cant put it, its too high, u need some kind of thing to reach the place to put the fuel, and wheres tuqkim? Grrr... just, give me the fuel. I'll put it in the rocket myself. Just be prepared to launch once I get that info from Luqkim!
Avenger's 999th post... who knows what the future holds for Avenger, and the entirety of RonStoppable.net.
Dancing with the Stars?
A tea party on the moon?
"Kim Possible" Season 5?
Only time will tell...