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Post by Avenger on Aug 25, 2006 21:37:21 GMT -5
We interrupt your regular programming for: State of Video Games address
Cool! Wouldn’t you totally want to live in the state of Video Games? Mario would be your governor and all his laws would be pasta-based initiatives. Master Chief would be Secretary of State and his signature would be all over your driver’s license. Plus, who’s gonna refuse organ donations when Master Chief’s asking. If you do, he’ll just send Solid Snake out to harvest them from you while you sleep. Phoenix Wright would be State’s Attorney. And Pac-Man could be patrolling around as part of the state police, keeping Video Games safe for all its citizens.
And people could reminisce about all the great people that came out of that state. Everybody would fondly remember that cute little local girl, Lara Croft, who moved to Hollywood and became famous. Then of course there is that drunk, vulgar squirrel who went on to somehow become king. I mean, sure, he was a lush, but he’s king now! And no one will ever forget that awesome winged boy who killed Medusa and saved us all from turning into eggplants.
And there are such beautiful places to visit in our fair state. We can really get that tourist revenue fired up. Come see the sights of the amazing Raccoon City. Or enjoy the beautiful tranquility of Silent Hill. And no one wants to miss the grand majesty of Hyrule National Park.
Plus, KP has a few games under her belt (and another one coming out in November), so there’s always the possibility of running in to her when you’re cruising around with your friends on Saturday night.
Badical!
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 26, 2006 9:58:46 GMT -5
Cool stuff. ;d
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Post by Avenger on Aug 26, 2006 15:11:44 GMT -5
This just in: Cell Phones
Ah, cell phones. You know I hate ‘em.
Everybody is walking around with their cell phones, everywhere, all day going “blah, blah, blah.” It is so annoying; it irks me to no end. Even people that you’re hanging around with have them. And you’re all in the middle of a conversation, and their phone rings and they’re like “Hold on, I gotta take this.” Which I find incredibly rude. I mean, it’s like, “Sorry, even though I’m chilling with you, you’re not really worthy of my time. That’s why I gotta talk to everybody else I know, and actually care about, on my cell phone.”
And don’t even get me started on people trying to talk and drive at the same time. I mean, what’s the deal? You are obviously not coordinated at either one separately, so why would you even attempt to-*boop boop bah-doop*-hold on… I gotta take this.
“What’s the sitch?”
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 26, 2006 15:15:28 GMT -5
I need a cell phone. Well, not really.
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Post by Avenger on Aug 27, 2006 22:37:35 GMT -5
Check your local listings: 1996-Kid’s WB
Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries Animaniacs Pinky and the Brain Superman: The Animated Series Road Rovers Freakazoid Earthworm Jim
Ah, the good ol’ days. Before I became a beer-guzzling, womanizing leche.
Good times… GOOD TIMES!
*(oops! Totally wrong year. had to fix that. beer-guzzling will do that to your brain, kids.)
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 28, 2006 14:29:46 GMT -5
I used to watch Animaniacs and Pinky
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Post by Avenger on Aug 28, 2006 21:25:14 GMT -5
And now a word from: My Brother I was all set to talk about Pluto today, but mon frere already beat me to it. I don’t travel down well worn paths, so below you will find his thoughts on the planet formerly known as nine. Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present our special guest ranter, my brother: “So, apparently, Pluto was stripped of its planethood. Yes, that's correct, Pluto is no longer a planet. We only have eight planets meaning, "My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine" and we have a dangling participle! YAY, WORLD!!! I've never held anything against Pluto, so the news is pretty confounding. It was disqualified because its orbit overlaps with Neptune's... how interesting. It is not a big-P planet anymore, but a "dwarf planet." I guess that means that people who are dwarves are not actual people anymore. That's kinda sick. Not that most people recognize them as such, so I guess it's good that astronomers want to reflect the state of the world by demoting planets. I just don't think it makes much sense to demote and promote planets. It's not like they have jobs... they are just bodies in space. I really feel like some people have nothing [edit] better to do with their lives than debate these things... not important! I miss you, Pluto... I really do.” And I direct you to the Pluto thread on the general board: Pluto the Planet is DEAD
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Post by Imperial General Someguy on Aug 28, 2006 22:08:38 GMT -5
Random much indeed!
It's like Nightspade's rants, only much funnier and much more random!
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Post by nabusan on Aug 29, 2006 6:16:06 GMT -5
Wow, blockquote - that's a new one for me!
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 29, 2006 9:02:03 GMT -5
I like it, well said.
I'm mad about it.
LET'S PETETION!
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Post by Avenger on Aug 29, 2006 20:42:00 GMT -5
Only you can prevent: Burnt
Burnt stuff sucks.
First off, the smell. There is no nastier smell in the world than the smell of burning. Burning wood, burning food, burning flesh. It just lingers in the air for hours, offending your nasal cavity every time you breathe. And don’t say word one about candles! Releasing their flowery fragrances into the air… that’s the candle’s way of covering up its actual scent! They’re sly like that. It’s like that smelly guy who doesn’t bathe for a week, but puts on cologne to try and hide the odor. You can’t tell, but that candle reeks!
Look at burnt stuff. It looks terrible! All charred and cracked and blackened. It just looks so destroyed. Like Lindsay Lohan.
And then the way it tastes… blech! Here, let me just throw pure carbon in my mouth. I always wanted to know what one of the periodic elements tasted like. There’s a whole magical rainbow of flavors to be had there! Not. You just taste burnt!
Burnt, burnt, burnt!
Stupid broccoli…
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 30, 2006 6:55:16 GMT -5
Wow. LOL.
I hate burnt stuff. I hate the smell of cigarettes. Gross.
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Post by Avenger on Aug 30, 2006 23:42:28 GMT -5
Saliva: The Silent Killer
Well, not that silent, cause it makes you cough and gag, and you can get pretty loud when doing that. Still, like, a hidden killer. I bet you never knew how dangerous saliva was. You think it just sits up in your glands, slumbering until some morsel of food enters your mouth. But no. Your saliva is like a ninja. It waits silently, patiently, for the perfect opportunity. And when you least suspect it, it leaps out of the darkness of your acini, jumping down your throat and clogging your airways in an attempt to end your life. It could be when you’re sitting at your computer, maybe typing up something about dogs or bad smells, it could be anytime. But when it happens, there is no deeper feeling of surprise and betrayal.
How would you feel if someone that close to you hurt you like that? I mean, you and your saliva have been together for so many years. All those happy memories: pizza, birthday cakes, Ecto-Cooler. Does it all mean nothing to you, saliva!? I can’t believe you’d do this to me! I’ll never be able to trust you again. Ever!
::runs away, sobbing uncontrollably::
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Aug 31, 2006 8:51:05 GMT -5
LOL. Bravo.
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Post by Kimron Posstoppable on Aug 31, 2006 22:04:20 GMT -5
Check your local listings: 1996-Kid’s WB Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries Animaniacs Pinky and the Brain Superman: The Animated Series Road Rovers Freakazoid Earthworm Jim Ah, the good ol’ days. Before I became a beer-guzzling, womanizing leche. Good times… GOOD TIMES! *(oops! Totally wrong year. had to fix that. beer-guzzling will do that to your brain, kids.)Good times indeed. Earthworm Jim was the isht at my house. I even remember the theme song. Even Road Rovers was fun. Why isn't Freakazoid on DVD? Why? I loved that line-up.
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Post by Avenger on Aug 31, 2006 22:43:38 GMT -5
Topical depression: Popsicle sticks
Alright, I’m tired of all these popsicle sticks walking around, acting as if they’re smarter than me. You think just because you know how many sides a circle has, that makes you a genius? Well, it doesn’t. That’s just some stupid joke somebody printed on your grainy body. Furthermore, it’s not even a funny joke.
And look at you! Always stained with some artificially colored liquid and covered in peoples’ spit. You disgust me. So just stop it with this whole superior attitude you got going on. Everybody hates you. And you’re not fooling anyone.
You’re an inanimate piece of wood! Start acting like it.
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Post by Ashley Benlove on Sept 1, 2006 9:28:57 GMT -5
Haha! Hate those stupid popiscle sticks! Hate em!
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Post by kimmyfan48 on Sept 1, 2006 19:43:26 GMT -5
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Post by Avenger on Sept 2, 2006 3:17:42 GMT -5
Late Edition: More cell phones
Alright. So for the longest time I refused to get a cell phone. I found them annoying and stupid, and so were the people that owned them. But gradually my idiot barrier began to wear down. And then, when I was trying to get together with people during the weekends, it started to become more and more obvious that it might not be a bad idea to think about purchasing one. I wouldn’t have to keep trying to find a pay phone or borrow my friends’ phones every time I was trying to meet up with someone. So, I gave in and purchased one. Nice one, too. Good plan. Lots of minutes and other fun stuff. So, awesome, I have a cell phone, right?
Wrong!
So, now that I have this fancy new cell phone does anybody bother to call me on it? No! They keep calling my regular house line and leaving messages on my answering machine. Which I don’t even bother to check anymore because, hello, cell phone! I mean, what was the whole point of buying a cell phone if it doesn’t make me constantly available to people 24/7. That’s what you all wanted, right? Cause I was so difficult to get a hold of? (And I liked it better that way, thank you very much.) So I go through all the trouble of getting one and this is how you repay me? Geesh!
Annoying and stupid!
What’s the point of having a Kimmunicator ring tone if I can’t hear it every 5 minutes?
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Post by Retsu on Sept 2, 2006 3:20:25 GMT -5
kimmunicator ring tone? sweet! and yeah, i know xD people keep talkin to house even when we have cell phones!
PD: Hicka Bicka Boo! Avenger! :3
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