So I says to her, I says:
B*tch where's my money
And she's all
LOL SRY I gave it to someone else
So I says
You did WHAT?
So then her aw, shucks BOYFRIEND comes over
Hey guyz what's the problem
I'll tell you what the problem is... your drunk-ass girlfriend gave away my money. Gave it to her to hold on to while I went to take a - but when I came back... NOTHING
Babe, what'd you do with the man's money?
I BOUGHT U A BEER
That's very nice of you.
Yes?
Aren't you going to DO something?
You want a beer too?
So I walks away. That man scares the sh*t out of me and I didn't really want to get involved with anything.
Bartender, could I get a drink?
I can has ID plz?
I've literally been coming to this bar every night for the past five years. And ignoring how incredibly sad that sounds, I fail to see why I need to produce an ID.
LOL SRY ONLY IDS NOW GTFO
Maybe I don't WANT to leave!
AY FUNKY
What seems to be the problem here?
GUY HAS NO ID
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave... I'd rather not go alert the bouncers.
...there are bouncers here? What is this, a nightclub?
Well then.
Leaving?
NEVAR
Security!
Okay, buddy, time to go.
NO!
So I punch him in the face
NO HE DIDUNT
It's time for change. In this bar.
So he throws me out of the bar.
YES I CAN
*sigh*
What do YOU want?
You look sad.
I've been going to a gay bar for the last five years and didn't even know it. Of COURSE I'm sad.
I want you inside me.
Did you just say...?
...o, this is awkward
Yeah, I'm gonna go now.
:'[
So I start walking home. I take a shortcut through an alley.
Oh... hello, kitty.
*rubs cat's belly*
mao I love you mao C:
...I...
I LOVE YOU TOO
MAO
So we went back to his place.
mao you can meet my parents mao
Well, ok.
...
HAI MOM AND DAD
BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE :'[
But I like it
*purrs*
And that's how I married Pooky.
YEAH IT'S THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST