December 7th Kim Possible Short Fanfiction Contest

[cloudmonet]

The beginning of Ezbok's tale captured the spiritual essence of my day today. My sweetheart made me take her Christmas shopping. Aiiiiiieeeeee!!! The horror! Must hide.

Didn't have to punch out any ex-boyfriends though.

[Ezbok58a]

It was a idea I had for a while, and I wanted to give Ron a excuse for hitting Josh

The opening scene was something I really could see Ron doing too!

[captainkodak1]

Ya'll really got some good stories going. I still hope to do something but time is short.

[Artificial Moose]

It's Not About the Shopping
by Artificial Moose
Rated G
---
It was Kim and Ron's first Christmas together.

Technically, of course, the first decade-plus worth of Christmases had been spent together, or at least in each other's 'totally platonic' company. Of course, they had not been officially together-together at that point, so they decided to simply count the Christmas of their senior year as their first couple-Christmas, and be done with it. It made explaining things to the grandparents a whole lot easier.

Ron, whose sweetness gene had gone into overdrive ever since prom, which was a development that manifested itself in ways both endearing and absurd, decided to go all-out in acquiring Kim's Christmas present. Indeed, he had briefly considered throwing a Christmas bash to end all Christmas bashes, something that would beat even the North Pole Incident and atone for all the years of Bueno Nacho Bucks. Ron was talked out this when Rufus, moved to terror at the thought of no Possible Family Christmas eggnog, scampered up Ron's arm, interrupted his high-intensity planning session, and chattered some sense into him.

So he decided to go the route of the old reliables: jewelry or chocolate. In the end, he went with the former.

The hard part, as far as the actual purchase was concerned, had been convincing his dad to release some of the naco royalties from the trust fund. Said fund had been set up after Ron had gone stark raving mad whilst in possession of the first naco royalties check, and his parents were understandably hesitant in releasing the funds; not that they didn't trust him, but his having carried around ninety-nine big ones in his pants was not regarded by them as a wise move.

Okay, fine, they didn't trust him with the money.

Fortunately Ron was able to tap into a romantic side hidden deep within Mr. Stoppable, and thusly secured the necessary fundage.

He had also had to pledge to perform several chores around the house, such as cleaning the bathroom, mowing the yard, and re-organizing the garage (it had filled up, again). Two out of those three, namely the mowing and the garage organizing, had him scared to death.

But it was alright: to him, making Kim smile was worth any possible encounters with the garden gnome.

With a blank check stuck in one pocket, and Rufus snoozing happily in another, Ron set out on December 22nd for Middleton Mall, and the fairly upscale jewelry store known as Kyle Jewelers. He'd already shopped for the Doctors P and the tweebs (those presents were already under the Possible family tree, courtesy of an arrangement with Mr. Dr. P.), and now all that remained was to get Kim something special.

---

Also present at the mall that day, by freak coincidence, were Kim and her mother, who were taking care of their own last-minute Christmas shopping.

Kim very nearly saw Ron at the jewelry store, but he managed to jump over the counter in time to hide from her. Kim thought she saw something vaguely shoe-like disappear over the top of the counter, but she just shook her head and walked on. After all, she'd already completed her Christmas shopping (sans Nana), and didn't really need to buy anyone any jewelry.

She really hoped that Ron would like the “Fearless Ferret Complete Series” DVD set she'd gotten him for Christmas; even though she figured he would, she expected him to pull out some sweet and corny lines, like 'Gosh, KP, you didn't have to get me anything. Having you as a girlfriend is the most bon-diggity Christmas present ever!' or somesuch as that. Even so, she was rather pleased with her selection, as what she'd gotten for him had just screamed 'Ron' from the moment she saw it.

Not literally, of course, as that would have been really weird. Though she did think that Ron was mentioned in one of Mr. North's commentary tracks.

At the time she had nearly given poor Ron a heart attack, Kim had been making her way towards the fountain at the center of Middleton Mall, where she was supposed to find her mother. They had spent most of the morning shopping together, in order to get gifts for Mr. Dr. P. and the tweebs, but they had split up at a quarter till eleven, so they could successfully purchase presents for each other and still maintain the surprise factor.

She shifted the bags around a little as she walked, and hoped that her mom would already be there. It was already well past eleven o'clock, she was quite hungry, and they hadn't even shopped for Nana yet. Kim figured, then, that a lunch break was in order.

'Spankin', she's already here,' Kim thought with a happy sigh, as she stepped out from behind a rather large fellow and saw her mother waiting at the fountain. Mrs. Dr. P. had set her own bags on the floor, and didn't appear to have been waiting long enough to grow impatient.

“Hey, Mom,” Kim called out as she drew near to the fountain.

“There you are, Kimmie,” Mrs. Dr. P. said in reply. “Find anything interesting?”

“You'll have to wait 'till Christmas to find out,” Kim scolded. Her mother was secretly pleased by this, as her reading of that answer meant that Kim hadn't encountered Ron. Mrs. Dr. P. had actually run into the boy herself as he was entering the mall, and she knew that he wanted to keep his destination there a secret. At least, that's what she figured he wanted, given how he'd dived behind a trashcan when he'd seen her, and it was left to Rufus to explain things.

They then began to haggle over where to go for lunch.

Neither Kim nor her Mom were ever able to fully explain what happened next.

Kim put out Emerald Wednesday's as an option; Mrs. Dr. P. countered with the food court. They both became adamant, in a manner entirely disproportionate to the severity of the subject. One thing led another, and thus began an event that was feared by all men, an epic struggle that had long haunted the nightmares of Doctor James Timothy Possible.

The Duel of the Puppy Dog Pouts.

---

“She's gone, man,” said a slightly bemused jewelry store salesman. “You can get up now.”

He grinned at the nervous-looking young man who was curled up on the floor, his head covered by his hands, as if that would actually help to camouflage him. Business had been somewhat slow, and Ron was actually the only customer he'd had that morning. The salesman didn't mind that too much, as he figured this way he was guaranteed of making a sale.

“You sure?” Ron asked uncertainly.

“Positive, man. She went around the corner a minute ago.”

Ron slowly stood to his feet and looked around suspiciously. It wasn't that he didn't trust the salesman, it was just that he knew Kim Possible, and knew that if she had seen him, the she was just wily enough to make him think that she'd left, just so she could jump out at the last second and find out what he was up to.

He sighed with relief when he confirmed that she had, in fact, walked on. That meant his Grand Plan to Surprise KP with a Bright Shiny Object was still in motion. Now he just had to pick out said Bright Shiny Object, a feat which was proving to be far harder than he had originally anticipated.

“So,” the salesman continued, “you actually planning on buying something or not?”

Ron had just spent the past hour simply walking back and forth in front of the display counter, studying each and every item with an intensity and attention to detail that was almost foreign to him. That particular activity had been interrupted when he had made his great leap over the display counter, and now he looked as if he was ready to repeat the process, just from the employee side of the counter.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Ron said, somewhat abashed. “Sorry, dude, it's just...”

He waved his hands in air, as if he was uncertain of what to say.

“Let me guess,” the salesman replied. “You want to get something really nice for the most important person in your life, but despite our great selection of many fine diamonds and other jewels, you just can't seem to find something that really fits.”

Ron thought for a moment.

“Yeah, that's about it.”

The salesman looked at him for a moment. He'd thought that the strange person who had spent an hour browsing his store was Ron Stoppable; in fact, he'd pointed out Kim Possible just to try and confirm his suspicion. With that confirmed, he knew exactly what he had to do.

Granted, it wasn't something that he was really supposed to do, but if he couldn't bend the rules a little for the male half of Team Possible...

He jerked his head towards a door located at the back.

“Normally I wouldn't do this except for a select few customers,” he began, “but eh, it's Christmas, and I'm pretty sure that my boss owes the two of you for something. C'mon, Stoppable, I'll show you where we keep the good stuff.”

Under normal conditions the salesman would never have left his post to show just one person, and a teenager at that, the 'good stuff'. However, it was a slow day, it was Ron Stoppable, and the salesman had noticed that most of the passers-bye were headed towards the fountain area, apparently drawn towards to some sort of activity.

---

One Puppy Dog Pout can be resisted, if the person is of sufficient strength of will or coldness of heart. But two, simultaneously, and from a pair of gorgeous women of varying ages? Even the coldest hearts in that mall found themselves melting, and men of all ages and sizes threw themselves to the ground, and begged the goddesses to make their bidding known, so that they might willingly perform it.

Those who came just to see what was going on quickly rued their curiosity, as they fell into the thralldom of the Puppy Dog Pouts.

The wives and girlfriends, of course, were not thrilled by this turn of events, and many of the men received ill-tempered jabs to their ribs or backsides.

Through it all, by route of quivered lips and bambied eyes, Kim and her mother continued to debate where to go for lunch, rendered by their contest oblivious to the mayhem caused by their pouts.

This went on for a good ten minutes, until Kim and her mom realized that they had reached an impasse, and decided to compromise by going to Cheeburger Cheeburger instead.

As they wandered in the direction of one of the greatest burger joints known to man, they wondered just what exactly all those strange people were doing on the floor.

---

“So this is the good stuff?” Ron asked quizzically. All he saw, in the generously lit room, were stacks upon stacks of plain boxes.

“No, those are what we use to restock the display cases,” the salesman replied from behind him. “The good stuff is over here.”

Ron turned to see a much smaller assortment of plain boxes.

“It's... more... cardboard...”

“No, it's boxes. Which contain the good stuff,” the salesman explained as he opened up on of the boxes.

“Uh-huh. Sure. What makes this stuff so good?” Ron asked.

“Because each item in these boxes,” the salesman said, beckoning for Ron to come over and look, “is one of a kind.”

Ron, his curiosity piqued, walked over to the box that the salesman had opened and began to look around inside it. Even with his untrained eyes he recognized the quality of the gem-work, and could only marvel at the brilliance of the diamonds. Then he spied a single item, and knew then that his search was complete.

It was a necklace, wrought of the finest silver. The middle third of the necklace was a silver lattice-work, which radiated out from the middle and tapered down, until each end became a plain strand. Set into each half of the lattice was a series of brilliant diamonds, ranging in size from a half-carat to a tenth of a carat, the size decreasing as the width of the lattice decreased. Each was a perfect diamond: colorless, of flawless clarity, and cut in such a way that the light seemed to dance within them.

Four jewels hung from the lattice-work, each suspended from and bordered by finely crafted silver laces and strands. The first two jewels were emeralds, expertly cut and faceted, and each as green as Kim's eyes. The third jewel was a ruby, polished smooth with a prominent asterism, and as red as Kim's hair. These three jewels formed a triangle, with the ruby at the lower most point.

Set equidistant between the ruby and emeralds was a single, two-carat diamond.

If the smaller diamonds were perfect, then that one was an utter paragon, one of the finest examples of such a jewel ever seen.

'That is the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen,' Ron thought to himself, and then he asked the salesman how much it was.

The salesman, seeing that Ron had apparently chosen that particular necklace, actually felt bad when he quoted the price. That was replaced by a very pleasant surprise when Ron produced a blank check and pen and wrote in the amount.

They left the back room and returned to the front counter, so the salesman could finalize the deal and package the necklace. However, as they left, neither the salesman nor Ron noticed the beady monkey eyes that stared at them from the shadows of the boxes.

---

It was Christmas Eve, and Ron was feeling a little bit tweaked. A water main, or a gas line, or something similarly repair-and-safety-intensive had burst (or broken) on the route between his house and Kim's. Whatever it was that had gone wrong, it had forced the city to close several streets to through traffic (both vehicular and pedestrian), which meant that Ron had to take the long way around. This wasn't too bad, as he was already way early for the Possible festivities, by Kim's request, but he was still still tweaked, because of the principle of the thing, if nothing else.

Still, his tweaked-ness was tempered somewhat by pity for the poor city workers who had to spend their Christmas Eve fixing what was broke.

The long way around wound up routing him through Middleton park, so he decided to take his time and reminisce a little bit. His quick little stroll down memory lane brought him to the duck pond (which was partially covered in a very thin layer of ice), where he relived the memory of how once, as a wee lad, he saved Kim from a rampaging mallard, known to all of the park regulars as 'Drake'.

'Or was that the other way around?' he thought to himself. 'Eh, I always get those details mixed up. Heh, that was one dangerous-getting duck, though, and his quacking vexed-'

“Greetings, Stoppable. It seems that you have something that I want.”

The cultured English accent of Monkey Fist interrupted Ron's questionably-accurate reminiscence. Ron turned and saw that his personal arch-foe was perched atop a snow covered hill, and was escorted by a dozen monkey ninjas.

“Dude, so not in the mood right now,” Ron grumbled. “So how's about you just take your monkey self and head on home, and we can settle this after the holidays, alright?”

“Two days ago you purchased a necklace from the Middleton branch of Kyle Jewelers,” Monkey Fist stated as he calmly walked towards Ron, and ignored the younger man's protest. “You intend this, I believe, as a gift for your paramour, yes?”

“My para-what?”

“For Possible,” Fist sighed.

“Oh yeah, it's KP's Christmas present.”

“Indeed. They didn't tell you where that necklace came from, did they?”

“The dude said something about Lucian Benelli having found it on some-”

“He found it in an old monkey temple!” Fist interrupted, with a manic look in his eyes. “That necklace you paid a pretty pound for is the simia avaricia, an ancient monkey artifact!”

Ron just looked at him as if he were nuts.

“Oh, please, you had to have seen it,” Fist grumbled. “The fierce green eyes, the red mouth, the invincible diamond, and all in the shape of a monkey head! It is obviously a mystical monkey artifact of great power.”

“This?” Ron exclaimed, as he pulled the box from his jacket. “Monkey-dude, this is a Christmas present for my girlfriend, which Mr. Benelli found at a shop in Calcutta. There's nothing monkey about it, so unless you want me to go ape on your monkey self, you'll-GAH!”

Monkey Fist had thrown himself at Ron, in an attempt to wrest the necklace from his hands. They struggled for a moment, until both lost their grips on the box and it sailed skywards and arced away.

Towards the middle of the duck pond.

It landed, broke through the thin ice shell, and promptly sank straight to the bottom. Ron and Monkey Fist both stared on in shock, and the monkey ninjas simply looked at each other with a well-known sense of defeat.

“The... the simia avaricia,” Fist said mournfully. “It's-”

He was cut off when a snowball smacked into the side of his head. He turned to glare at Ron, who was himself fixing Fist with a glare that could melt, well, that could melt something with a really high melting point.

“DUDE!” Ron cried. “CHRISTMAS PRESENT! FOR GIRLFRIEND! Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that!?”

“Oh please, the mall wasn't even crowded.”

“Two words, monkey-boy. Garden. Gnome.”

“You've gone nuts.”

“Oh yeah? You're one to talk, Mr. 'CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR GIRLFRIEND is a sacred monkey arti-thingy'!” Ron replied.

“Enough with the silly banter, let's just bring it,” Fist said, determined to vent his frustrations on Ron. “MONKEY NINJAS, ATT-”

He was cut off by yet another snowball.

---

Kim Possible lay stretched out on the couch in her living room, reading a magazine. Mrs. Dr. P. was in the kitchen prepping dinner, Mr Dr. P. had gone to the airport to pick up Nana Possible, the tweebs were up on the roof, putting the finishing touches on the Christmas lights (and the now-traditional Christmas multiple redundant power supplies), and there was a snow covered monkey ninja running down the sidewalk. Ron would arrive soon enough, and then-

'Wait,' Kim thought, realization having interrupted her contented reverie. 'Did I just see a monkey ninja?'

She leapt off the couch and rushed out the door, only to discover that there were, in fact, actually a dozen monkey ninjas, along with Fist himself, and they were all covered with snow and were running from an angered Ron Stoppable, who, along with Rufus, flung snowballs at the retreating simians.

“Monkey ninjas, retreat!” Fist continued to yell, unnecessarily, even as he ran.

“Get out of here, monkey! Get out of here, monkey!” Ron cried as he threw the snowballs.

The terrorized foes vanished over a hill. Ron flung one last snowball with a mighty throw, and was rewarded by the sight of a monkey ninja popping up into the air and then crashing back to earth. He ceased his pursuit and tried to catch his breath.

“Hey, Ron,” Kim asked, her voice amused.

“AH! KIM!” Ron cried, and promptly tried to bury himself in a snow bank. He stopped when Kim walked over to him and placed a hand on his arm.

“Amp down, Ron,” she admonished with a smile. “What's the sitch?”

“Uh, just FYI, KP,” Ron said, embarrassed. “I did, in fact, get you a Christmas present that was not Bueno Nacho Bucks. I... just don't have it with me.”

“Did Fist get it?” Kim asked, having deduced some of what was going on, as she helped Ron to his feet. She kept her arms linked with his.

“Nah, he didn't get it,” Ron groused. “Might as well, though, since, well... it's at the bottom of the duck pond, KP. Man, you were gonna love it, too...”

“Oh, Ron...”

“You shoulda seen it, KP,” Ron said wistfully, “all sparkly, and shiny, and pretty. Just like you, really, though it wasn't quite as pretty as you-”

The last bit earned him a kiss on the cheek.

“Still, it was something that I was hoping would get me a dating-style 'Club Banana Jacket Reaction',” Ron finished, and then he winked at her. “But the kiss'll do.

“I just wanted to get you something special,” he concluded with a sigh. “So much for that...”

“I've already got something special, Ron,” Kim replied after a moment's quiet. “I've got you, and you are just too sweet for your own good, you know that? So not the drama on the... whatever it was, we'll get it when it warms up a bit. Besides, you're the only jewel I'll ever need.”

“KP...” he said, touched. He felt like waxing philosophical, but words failed him.

“Awww,” Rufus cooed from Ron's pocket.

She tugged on his arm.

“Now c'mon inside where it's warm,” she said with a grin. “I'm cold, and I want to snuggle a bit before I give you your present.”

They walked towards the door, with its promises of hot chocolate, a soft couch, and central heating.

“Gosh, KP, you didn't have to get me anything,” Ron said sincerely. “Having you as a girlfriend is the most bon-diggity Christmas present ever!”

[recon228]

Before the Clock Strikes Six
By recon228

Rated: K+ (PG)

- INSERT STANDARD DISCLAIMER HERE -

----------------------------------------------------------------

- 4:54pm -

Ron was sitting on the edge of his bed playing video games when the cordless phone on his nightstand began to ring. Keeping one hand glued to the controller, he reached over and grabbed the phone from its cradle. He brought his gaze away from the TV screen just long enough to check the caller ID and hit the talk button.

“Hey, Felix,” Ron greeted. He cradled the phone against his shoulder so he could return full attention to the new Zombie Slayer 4 video game that his parents had given him for Hanukkah.

“So, how’s Z.S. 4, dude?” Felix asked, getting right to the point.

“Ferociously awesome,” Ron replied exuberantly. He cranked up the volume so his friend could hear the zombie-moans and gunshots through the phone’s receiver. “You can wield two sawed-off shotguns at the same time now!”

“Sweet!” Felix exclaimed. “Are the zombies any tougher?”

“Dude, zombies are nothing compared to the crazy villagers. Those guys are relentless and freaky… and I think one of ‘em is chasing me with a chainsaw!”

“Bummer,” Felix replied. “Well, I just wanted to give you a call and get a first-hand review before you headed over to Kim’s house for Christmas Eve.”

Ron quickly paused the game and brought the phone closer to his ear. “What are you talking about, dude?” He glanced over at the calendar on his desk. “Today’s the twenty-fourth, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, Christmas Eve isn’t ‘til tomorrow evening.”

“Uh, dude, tomorrow is Christmas Day.”

“Duh, and tomorrow night is Christmas Eve.”

“Ron…” Felix paused. “Christmas Eve is the night before Christmas Day!”

“What?” Ron dropped the game controller and jumped up from the bed. Across the room in his sock drawer, Rufus woke up and glanced over at his master with a worried look on his face.

“Christmas Eve is on the twenty-forth, not the twenty-fifth,” Felix repeated.

“Since when?”

“Um… since the birth of Christ, I guess. I thought you always hang with Kim and her family every year.”

“I do!” Ron replied, his voice quickly growing panicky. “I just never paid attention to what day it was! It always seemed like a December twenty-fifth kind of event!”

“Well, you at least picked up her present already… right?”

Ron suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.

Every year he and Kim exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve, and with the exception of the year before, when he had tried unsuccessfully to battle Drakken and Shego so Kim could enjoy Christmas with her family, he had always given her Bueno Nacho Bucks as a gift. She always acted like she enjoyed them, but subconsciously Ron suspected she was just being nice to him. Plus, in the wake of their junior prom, Ron had begun to realize that something like a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to a fast food joint – delicious though it was – wasn’t the most romantic gesture he could present to his girlfriend.

That’s why Ron had vowed that he was going to get Kim a real gift for their first Christmas as a couple. He wanted to get his girlfriend something that really showed her just how much she meant to him. In other words, he wanted something that didn’t require Ned’s ‘stamp of authenticity’ on it. It took him a while to find a suitable gift, but finally, after two weeks of searching – and several days of begging for Monique’s help – he found the perfect gift.

Technically speaking, it was actually Monique who found the gift, but she agreed to let Ron take all the credit in exchange for his autographed Steel-Toe wall poster. She had been in downtown Upperton the day before, picking up a gift for her mom, when she spotted a beautiful gold locket in the window display of an antiques shop. The locket was made of 24 karat gold and had an intricate floral design etched into its polished face. In the center of the locket was a sparkling Jade stone that, according to Monique, matched Kim’s eyes perfectly.

The minute Monique described the locket to him; Ron knew he had found the perfect gift for his girlfriend. He immediately called the shop and asked them to hold the locket until he could come pick it up. At two-hundred-and-fifty dollars it was a little pricy, but with the occasional Naco royalty checks he continued to receive, it was still well within his budget.

There was just one problem: he hadn’t picked it up yet…

“Uh, Ron-man, you still with me, dude?” Felix asked on the other end of the line.

“I haven’t picked up her gift yet,” Ron gasped, glancing at the clock on his wall.

“What time do they close?”

“Five-thirty,” Ron replied apprehensively.

There was several seconds of silence before Felix said, “Well, I guess it’s gonna be a Bueno Nacho Christmas again, huh?”

Ron collapsed back onto his bed and let out a frustrated groan. “I guess I’ll head over to Bueno Nacho then,” he announced dejectedly.

“Tough break, dude,” Felix replied sympathetically. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, see ya,” Ron muttered. He hung-up the phone and was reaching to place it back in its cradle when something on the bedside table caught his eye.

Next to his bedside lamp was an 8x4 framed photograph of him and Kim at their junior prom the previous spring. They were standing arm-in-arm and both had a look of pure joy and happiness on their faces. That had been the night they finally expressed their true feeling for one-another; the night they officially became a couple. Since then, their relationship had only grown stronger.

Glancing out the window, he saw that there was a light snow was already beginning to fall outside. Though the streets were dark, there weren’t a lot of cars out on the road and, as far as he could tell, traffic was actually surprisingly light.

Ron glanced over at the clock on his bedroom wall and saw that it was a few minutes before five o’clock. He still had thirty minutes before the antiques shop closed for the evening. It would be close, but if he could make every traffic light, there was still a fairly good chance he could make it before they closed. Glancing over at Rufus, Ron could tell that his rodent-friend had the same idea.

“C’mon, buddy,” he said, grabbing his winter jacket and scooping the mole rat into his hand. “Let’s go get Kim a Christmas present!”

“Okay!” Rufus cheered jubilantly.

---

- 5:28pm -

Unfortunately, Lady Luck chose not to side with Ron Stoppable that night…

He had hoped to make all the traffic lights on the way to Upperton, but instead he somehow managed to catch every red light along the way. And as if having to wait at every intersection wasn’t bad enough, he also found himself in a frantic Christmas Eve demolition derby with what seemed like every psychotic soccer-mom and last-minute shopper in the Tri-city area!

A trip that would normally only take him fifteen minutes to drive, ended up taking nearly half-an-hour as the helpless teen found himself tearing through the freshly-fallen snow; dodging errant vehicles that seemed to seek his car out like renegade cruise missiles, fighting to see through an increasingly thick snowfall that was rapidly moving-in from the north, and praying that he could make it to the antiques shop before they closed.

Even though Kim had insisted that he hadn’t, Ron still felt guilty for ruining her Christmas the year before. All she wanted to do was spend one night of the year with her family and him; just one night without school or missions, just her family, and her boyfriend.

And as if that wasn’t enough motivation, as a result of massive fan outcry, the local cable television network had finally relented and agreed to bring Snowman Hank back in place of the less-popular Stuff on Fire: Holiday Special they had originally planned to air. The show started at six o’clock, and Ron had promised Kim that he would be there.

As he drove down North Main Street in the heart of Upperton’s shopping district, Ron realized that it was going to be tougher than he had originally planned. As it turned out, parking was a factor he had not taken into account.

“Oh, come on!” he growled in frustration. “Did everyone else forget to get presents too?”

“Over there!” Rufus squeaked, jumping up and down and pointing to an empty spot half-a-block in front of them.

“Got it, hang on, buddy!” Ron announced. He turned on his indicator and was preparing to pull into the vacant space when another car coming from the opposite direction cut in front of him and pulled into his stall.

“Hey!” Rufus squeaked angrily.

Without so much as a wave, the woman in the other car got out and ran into a nearby department store.

“Don’t worry, Rufus,” Ron reassured his friend. “We’ll find a spot… I hope!”

- 5:34pm -

Rachel McDaniel had had a long day. She had been at work since seven-forty-five that morning and, except for a twenty-minute lunch break around noon, had spent those nine-and-a-half hours working the register at Main St. Antiques. That was nine-and-a-half hours of dealing with irate last-minute Christmas shoppers and listening to the same handful of Christmas music over-and-over.

As she locked the front door and turned to walk to her car, she was both surprised and annoyed to find a frantic-looking blond teenager running down the sidewalk shouting “Don’t close yet!” at the top of his lungs. On a better day, Rachel may have considered waiting for the last minute shopper… but not today. All she wanted to do was go home, open a bottle of wine, and try to forget about the grueling day she had suffered through.

“Please,” Ron wheezed, fighting to catch his breath after running three blocks through the snow. “I know what I’m getting; it’ll only take a minute!”

“Sorry, kid,” Rachel announced dismissively. “I close at five-thirty, not five-thirty-five.” She turned to leave, but Ron stepped in front of her path.

“Just hear me out, please!”

As the shop-owner listened with annoyed indifference, Ron explained the entire situation to her; his relationship with Kim, his desire to get her a real present for their first Christmas together, and the anarchy that he had endured just to make it to Upperton.

When he finished his story, Rachel just shrugged her shoulders and started to walk past him. “Next time leave five minutes earlier,” she replied.

“Wait!” Ron shouted, running after her and blocking her path again.

“Look, kid-”

“I’ll give you five-hundred dollars!” he offered, pulling a bundle of cash from his jacket and waving it in front of her face.

Rachel’s expression instantly brightened. “Well, I guess Christmas miracles do exist,” she replied cheerfully, turning back and fishing the keys from her purse. “Come on in!”

- 5:51pm -

Sixteen minutes later, Ron was back in his mom’s Honda heading toward Kim’s house with her gift in-hand. It had ended up costing him twice what he originally planned to spend, but as long as he could make it to the Possible’s house before six, the extra cost would be well worth it.

Since traffic on Main Street was still far too congested, Ron decided to take Redwood Road. It was a bit longer, but always had much less traffic. There was also only one traffic light he had to go through. As he sailed around a corner and headed toward the light going twice the posted speed limit, he saw that the signal was still green. As he got closer, however, the light switched to yellow.

“Hang on, Rufus,” Ron warned his friend.

Rufus whimpered and dove into Ron’s jacket pocket, closing the flap behind him.

Ron pushed the accelerator to the floor and sped-up in order to catch the light before it turned red. As they got within fifty feet of the intersection, the light turned red. If he stopped, it would have realistically only take a few seconds before the light continued its pre-programmed schedule and switched back. At that moment, however, rational thinking was quickly becoming a stranger to Ron Stoppable.

“If I don’t see it, it’s not illegal!” Ron shouted, shutting his eyes and flying through the intersection.

He made it through safely, but not before nearly running a marked police car off the road…


- 5:53pm -

“Stupid-stupid-stupid-stupid…” Ron grumbled, banging his head against the steering wheel over-and-over.

He was sitting in his car on the side of the road as a light blanket of snow slowly covered the front window. Behind him, the 4x4 police sport utility vehicle he had come close to hitting sat idling on the dirt shoulder with its spotlight trained on his Honda’s back window. The officer was still sitting behind the wheel and Ron could literally feel every agonizing second tick by as he waited for the cop to get out and approach his car. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, the officer exited his cruiser and walked up to Ron’s open window.

“Evening,” the officer greeted tersely, shining his flashlight in Ron’s face. “I’m Deputy Smith with the Tri-county Sheriff’s Department. The reason I stopped you tonight is because-”

“I know,” Ron interrupted. “I ran the red light. Look, I’m sorry. I’m just really in a hurry to get to my girlfriend’s house before six, see-”

The deputy gestured for Ron to be quiet. “You also came pretty darn close to taking me out in the intersection back there,” he explained. “Now, can I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?”

Realizing he wasn’t getting out of the ticket, Ron sighed and reached into his pocket to get his wallet. His stomach turned to lead, however, when he realized the pocket was empty.

His wallet was gone…

‘I must have left it on the counter at the antiques store,’ he thought. He glanced up at the waiting deputy and sheepishly announced, “I… kinda don’t have my driver’s license on me.”

“Well, that may be a problem,” Deputy Smith replied, taking a step back from the door and resting his hand on his holstered sidearm. “I want you to step out of the car, walk back, and place your hands on the trunk.”

Sadly, Ron knew nothing about police procedures. In fact, what little he did know was gained solely from what he watched on re-runs of COPS. If he had known a bit more, he would have understood that the deputy was simply ordering him out of the car for his safety, and that as soon as he could confirm Ron’s identity, he would write him the ticket and send him on his way. Unfortunately, as far as Ron knew, being told to step out of the car and place his hands on the trunk meant only one thing: he was about to be arrested.

Ironically, the idea of spending the night in jail hardly even fazed him. What did have him panicking was the idea that, once again, his carelessness and procrastination was going to ruin Kim’s Christmas. She would no doubt be too busy worrying about where he was to enjoy her family’s activities. Then, when she learned he was in jail, she would drop everything in order to try to get him out. By the time the whole mess got sorted out, her evening would be ruined.

Ron glanced down at the gift-wrapped box sitting next to him on the passenger seat. He had made a promise to himself two weeks earlier that he was going to get Kim a real present and see to it that she got to spend Christmas with her family. He no longer cared what happened to him, as long as his girlfriend was happy.

“I said step out of the car!” Smith repeated harshly. He reached down to open the car door, but Ron had locked it.

Keeping his eyes glued to the deputy, Ron began reaching for the gearshift lever. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “You don’t understand. I need to get this to Kim!”

“Don’t even think about it, kid! Get out of the car now!”

Before Deputy Smith could reach through the open window and grab the keys, Ron slipped the Honda into drive and hit the accelerator. As he guided the car back onto the road, he could see the deputy in his rearview mirror. He was running back to his cruiser and shouting into the radio mic on his shoulder.

“Hang on, buddy,” he said to Rufus, who was looking up at his master in wide-eyed horror. “This is gonna get crazy!”

---

- 5:58pm -

Kim was sitting on the couch in her living room watching the clock on the wall slowly near closer to six. She had told Ron that Snowman Hank started at six, and he had promised her that he would be there before the opening credits started. She was staring longingly at the gift sitting next to her when her mom walked up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Kimmie, wasn’t Ronald supposed to be here by now?” Andrea asked with a hint of concern.

Behind her, Jim and Tim both snickered at the mention of their big sister’s boyfriend. While they both secretly approved of their sister’s goofy partner, publicly, they took advantage of every opportunity to tease either one of them.

“He’s probably still at Bueno Nacho,” Jim said jokingly.

“Yeah,” Tim agreed. “I’ll bet he’s picking up your yearly supply Bueno Nacho Bucks right…” he glanced at his watch, “…now.”

“He is not!” Kim countered defensively. She glanced toward the front door and smiled. “In fact, I have a feeling Ron’s got something really special planned this year.”

No sooner had she made her comment, than the faint wail of police sirens could be heard in the distance. As she stopped to listen, the wail began to grow louder as the sirens grew nearer. Being closest to the living room window, James walked over and glanced outside.

“Ron doesn’t drive a white Honda by any chance, does he?” James asked. He glanced back at his daughter as the sirens grew even louder.

“His mom owns a Honda,” Kim replied. “Why?”

Turning back and staring out the window, James responded, “It looks like he’s got something planned, though I wouldn’t exactly call it ‘special’.”

---

- 5:59pm -

Turning the icy street corner onto the quiet residential street, Ron breathed a sigh of relief as he spotted the welcoming glow of the Possible Family’s Christmas light decorations shining down on his car from the top of the hill. Behind him, the quiet neighborhood was bathed in a conglomeration of flashing red and blue emergency lights coming from the convoy of police cars that were still chasing him.

Ever since entering the city limits, he had been followed closely by what seemed like every cop in the Tri-city area. Even though the snow was causing the roads to quickly lose their traction, the pursuing officers seemed to have no problem keeping pace with him. Not that it was difficult to accomplish; a 1998 Honda Civic really wasn’t prized for its ability to outrun a fleet police Crown Victorias…

Glancing over at Rufus, Ron gritted his teeth and growled, “I don’t care what happens to me, Rufus! It’s Christmas Eve and Kim’s getting her present no matter what!”

He pulled up in front of the Possible Residence and slammed the brake pedal against the floor; bring the Honda to a screeching halt and forcing the closest pursuing cruiser to swerve up onto the sidewalk in order to avoid a collision.

As the other patrol cars began to pull to a stop all around him and their drivers stepped out with guns drawn, Ron gave Rufus a reassuring wink and, grabbing Kim’s gift, jumped out of the car and took off toward the front door. Rufus jumped up onto the window ledge and watched fearfully as his master ran across the festively decorated lawn of Kim’s house, followed closely by over a half-dozen armed police officers.

---

- 6:00pm -

Back inside the house, the entire Possible family was gathered in front of the living room window. They watched as Ron pulled up and started running across the front lawn with several police officers chasing after him yelling at him to stop.

Jim and Tim both looked on with a bit of amusement as their sister’s goofy partner ran past the window toward the front door.

“Hey, that is Ron!” said Jim.

“And he’s gone postal!” added Tim.

“Boys!” Andrea scolded; giving her son’s an angry look.

The twins gave each other a knowing grin and ran back to the couch to get their video camera.

Kim, meanwhile, watched in shock as her best friend ran up onto her front porch and disappeared from view. She ducked past her mom and ran over to open the door for him. As she approached the door, she heard several officers shouting “Get down!” and “Put your hands up!” followed by something inaudible from Ron. Then Kim heard a loud ‘pop’, followed by a painful scream from Ron and what sounded like something heavy hitting the ground.

Kim grabbed the handle and wrenched the door open, only to be met with a sight that made her heart jump into her throat; Ron was laying face-down on the concrete porch with eight police officers standing over him. They all had their guns drawn and were pointing them at both Ron and her.

For a brief moment Kim feared the absolute worst. Then she noticed that there were two small metal barbs sticking out of Ron’s back. The barbs were attached by two electrical wires to a yellow Taser stun gun that was resting in one of the closest officer’s hands. Just as she realized what had happened, Ron groaned and looked up toward her.

Ignoring the harsh orders being barked at her from the crowd of officers, Kim ran forward and knelt down in front of him. “Ron! Are you alright?” she gasped, praying that the Taser was the only thing they had fired at him.

With a lopsided grin, Ron looked up at her and held out his arm. Resting in his hand was a small gift wrapped jewelry bow with ‘For: Kim’ written on it.

“I… got you… present… not too late!” Ron managed to mutter before once again collapsing onto the hard concrete ground.

---

- 9:01pm -

As it turned out, Ron didn’t have to spend the night in jail after all. Though he was fully prepared to face the consequences of his actions, the police decided to let him off with a harsh warning. At first, even Officer Hobble – who had been a long-time ally of Team Possible – was pushing toward hauling the blond away on charges ranging from reckless driving to felony resisting arrest. But, after Ron was given a chance to fully explain his actions and the events that had led up to the traffic stop, Hobble decided that, in the spirit of Christmas, he was willing to let Ron off the hook.

There was also the fact that the Tweebs had managed to capture the entire event on video, and the entire Possible family pretty much agreed that the Middleton Police Department shooting an unarmed teenager in the back on Christmas Eve was about twice as messed up as the Rodney King beating. That also helped play a role in keeping Ron out of jail… but it was mostly Hobble’s ‘Spirit of Christmas’ thing.

Finally, after the police had cleared out and everything had returned to normal, Kim and Ron decided to retreat to the living room. They were both sitting on the couch watching an old movie. Kim was sitting upright on one end while Ron lying across it with his head resting on her lap.

Though Ron’s eyes were fixed on the black-and-white gangster film playing on TV, Kim’s eyes were glued to the beautiful gold locket Ron had given her. She couldn’t believe that Ron… her boyfriend… had managed to pick out such an amazing and thoughtful gift for her. The intricate floral design etched into its cover gave it a real antique and sophisticated look, and the jade stone mounted in its center matched the green of her eyes perfectly.

“Y’know,” Kim thought out-loud, opening the locket and examining the empty space where a small photo would fit. “I think I’m gonna get Wade to reduce our prom photo for me to put in here. That way, whenever I open it, it’ll remind me of how much you mean to me.”

Ron grunted, but refused to bring his eyes away from the television.

Kim frowned and looked down at her boyfriend, slightly concerned over his obvious funk. “What’s wrong, Ron?”

“I can’t believe I ruined your family’s Christmas again,” Ron replied, still refusing to make eye contact.

Tucking the locket back under her shirt, Kim reached down and tilted Ron’s head so he was looking up at her. “Are you kidding me?” she asked, surprised by his comment. “Ron, this has been even better than last year! You know how my dad loves those World’s Craziest Police Chases shows, and the Tweebs are up in their room right now trying to build their own police Taser! Not to mention how much I love this gift you gave me!”

“Really?” Ron grinned.

Kim smiled and lifted his head up, giving him a long passionate kiss. “Really,” she replied, giggling at the whimsical look on her boyfriend’s face.

Ron reached up and gently stroked her cheek. “I love you, Kim.”

“I love you too, Ron,” she replied with a smile.

[Ezbok58a]

Well, I'm officially screwed. ;D

[cloudmonet]

So far I think we have five pretty good stories. Four of them seem to be set in Christmas of Kim's 12th grade, one in 8th grade.

Get your stories in by tomorrow, folks. Win or lose, a lot of people will be reading your stories and enjoying them!

[taechunsa]

Wow! these are all very good stories. I am pleased with the participation. Since this is the first contest I was really only planning on about a half a dozen entries and it looks like we will probably make that goal.

And as Cloud said, win or lose a lot of people will be reading and enjoying your stories.

[Scoutcraft Piratess]

I actually just had a plot bunny for one... I shall get it to you by tonight... 24 hours early!

[Scoutcraft Piratess]

"Christmas Boots"
by Miss Piratess

Rated: PG

---

Here it was, the final hours of shopping before Christmas. The final hours left in anticipation of
all the important shopping that couldn’t find its time between duking it out with Kim Possible and
listening to Dr. Drakken’s latest plan for world domination–something involving dressing up like
Santa and driving a nuclear-powered sled. Or something. Well, it would probably be sent into
action tonight. After all, it was Christmas Eve.

Yes, Christmas Eve. Shego ran as fast as she could through the Dillard’s department store doors, completely sending a couple of wanna-be goth teenagers slamming into the walls. Serves them right for being in her way. Shego glared back at them without pausing. There were more shoppers coming, a veritable avalanche of people.

She supposed it was her own fault for being so late. But things came up. And that sale on those boots she had been eyeing ended tonight.

An elderly woman who couldn’t have weighed more than ninety pounds stepped on her foot. “Sorry, dearie.”

Shego had not come out in a blizzard and every other Christmas Eve reveler to be called ‘dearie.’ She sighed and lifted her hands. Sparkly green was festive, wasn’t it? “Out of my way!”

A couple punks thrown here and there, and she was finally in the main part of the store. Tinsel and fake greenery hung from the ceilings, and that lousy remake of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” blared throughout the store. She took a deep breath. Yuck. Perfume samples everywhere. If there were anything worse than perfume samples, it was–

“Our latest variety of Clinique Happy?” a smiling salesgirl asked, bottle already poised.

Shego knocked her to the floor. No, nothing was worse. “Can you point me to the shoe department?”

The salesgirl, still on the floor and wiping perfume off her dress, didn’t respond.

Oh, well. She’d find it. Now if she were shoes, where would she be? She hopped onto a escalator decorated with Christmas lights.

Unfortunately, it led right to the lingerie department. Shego moaned. All around her, Christmas delicates no one in their right mind should be looking at. And another smiling salesgirl, too wholesome-looking to be working in such a department. “We’re having a last-minute sale. 70% off on select styles.”

Shego nodded. “Wow. I have my choice between Mrs. Clause or Santa’s Little Helper.”

The girl kept smiling. “Just in case you have someone special.”

“And I don’t.” The shoe department was just beyond this. She marched on.


“But I’m on commission!” the girl screamed after her, no longer quite so perky. “It’s Christmas Eve!”

The shoe department was a madhouse. Did anyone have anything better to do on Christmas Eve than shop? Well, she was here. But she had an excuse. She stepped around a stroller with a screaming infant, over a heap of fallen shoe boxes... and there they were.

Mable Wisteria boots. Full brown leather, mid-calf, 4-inch heel wonders. She was almost ready to drool. Not exactly practical for fighting Princess Possible, but sometimes a girl just had to have a night on the town. Sometimes a girl had to spoil herself. There was nothing wrong with getting a present for one’s self.

And you just couldn’t beat fifty bucks on sale. Not for these babies.

She almost threw back her head and laughed. No, that was a bit too Drakken. She grabbed her size and sprinted to the shoe counter.

The line practically twisted around the upper floor. Apparently only one register was open.

Well, the lingerie counter had been available... no, that was not a place she wanted to revisit.

She sighed, stroked her new boots, and waited.

Maybe she should just steal them. She could take on any security guard they had.

The music had switched to “Away in a Manger.”

Nah. You couldn’t steal on Christmas Eve.

Behind her a lady was having a terrible coughing fit. Shego could feel it every time. Little germs just begging to get her. Coughing... coughing... She tried to ignore it. But the little boy in front of her was just as irritating. He had found the most marvelous way to make the lid of the shoe box he was holding flip up and down in the most noisy fashion. Stupid kid. And the lady kept coughing.

Well, she did have superpowers. She could just take out the entire line.

Except you just didn’t beat up people while “Away in a Manger” played.

Slowly, the line moved forward.

And the kid in front of her kept fiddling with that stupid shoe box. Lid went up, lid slapped back down. Lid went up...

“Hey, kid, do you think you could knock it off with your new toy there?” she snapped.

He turned around to look at her, all big blue eyes and unruly black hair. “It’s not my toy,” he said
pointedly.

She sighed. “Your shoes, then. Whatever.”

He wiped his nose on his sleeve. Apparently the lady’s germs were getting to him as well. “Not my shoes. They’re for my mom.”

Oh, great. She knew where this was leading. She slid the shoe box to her hip and met his eyes. “Let me get this straight. Your mommy has some horrible incurable disease and she’s probably going to kick the bucket tonight and all you want is to give her these beautiful shoes.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“You know, I just wanted you to stop fiddling with the box.”

“I’m bored. I gotta do something. You know, lady, that was mean about what you said.”

If he really did have a dying mother, it would be a rather insensitive thing to say. Wasn’t she the kind one. “Look, I’m sorry about your mom.”

“My mom isn’t dying, lady! She’s a dietician with lower cholesterol than half the kids in my class!”

Little brat.

The kid continued. “She just wanted these boots, and the only time I could shopping was tonight.”

Well, there went any pity she could have felt. “So your mom isn’t dying?”

“No, I just wanted to buy her some boots because she’s nice and bought me all the video games I
wanted. Except I’m not supposed to know about those yet. Santa’s bringing those.”

Wouldn’t he be surprised when Drakken showed up instead? “So what boots did you pick out?”

The kid opened the box and showed her. Ooh. The same Mabel Wisteria boots she was getting. “Your mom has good taste.”

“Thanks, lady.”

The man in front of them moved away, and the kid’s turn was next. This salesgirl was not smiling; instead she looked ready to kill someone. “Just these?”

“Just these,” the kid replied.

The salesgirl practically through them over the scanner and into a bag. “That’ll be $53.74.”

The kid pulled a couple of crumpled twenties from his coat pocket and flung them on the counter. Next a handful of change. “I think I’m short.”

In that one Christmas shoes song the person next line gave the kid some money to pay for the shoes. Good grief. That wasn’t going to be her, tonight? She had to check on Drakken’s sleigh before he took off so he wouldn’t kill himself mid-flight, and she wanted some boots to pay off for this evening.

The kid flung another dollar bill up. Now they were actually playing “Christmas Shoes.” For crying out loud...

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cash. “Here, kid–“

“Yes!” He pulled a half-torn twenty from his jeans. “Forgot I had this.”

“Great,” the salesgirl said without anything enthusiasm.

The kid grabbed his change, the bag, and looked back at Shego. “What were you saying?”

She stuffed the money back into her pocket. “Never mind.”

He nodded, looking very confused. As well he should be. “Well, Merry Christmas.” He walked off, whistling.

Odd kid. “Merry Christmas,” she called after him. Then she set her own shoe box on the counter.

The salesgirl glared. “If I see one more pair of these,” she began.

Shego grabbed the girl’s collar. “Why don’t you just be a little more with the season?”

The girl just nodded in fear and rang up the boots.

There was still a little money left over.




Drakken laughed evilly as he flung the rest of whatever weapons he just designed into the back of the sleigh. “This is it, Shego! Kim Possible won’t dare stop us on Christmas!”

Shego nodded and increased the volume on the tv. A Christmas Story was on. “Yeah, uh-huh. Evil on Christmas. Great plan. Just like last time.”

“But it will work!” Drakken said, pulling on a Santa hat. “That Grinch will have nothing on me. Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

Spend Christmas Eve with Drakken? “I’m good,” she replied. “You can handle the sleigh by yourself. Trust me, you’ll have a lot more fun.”

“Well, if you’re sure you want to stay at the lair and be bored...”

“I’m sure. Good luck and Merry Christmas.”

“I don’t need luck. I just need–“ He pulled something from the front of the sleigh. “What’s this?” He held up a gauzy mockery of an elf costume.

“A Christmas present for you.”

“I don’t think–“

Shego shrugged. “It was Christmas Eve and this girl needed the commission.”


The End.

[taechunsa]

Great stories so far.

Anyone who still wants to submit a story has until midnight tonight.

[Artificial Moose]

misspiratess said:

Except you just didn’t beat up people while “Away in a Manger” played.

That is hilarious. ;D

[MrDrP]

Kim Possible: So the Christmas Present Drama

by MrDrP

Rating: T

Thanks to campy for his ever invaluable beta and proofing assistance.

You saw it on KP, Disney owns it …
___
I.

This was so wrong. So, so ferociously wrong.

It was 3:30 in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and Kim Possible, the girl who could do anything, didn’t have a present for her BFBF, Ron Stoppable.

“What do you mean you’re out of stock?” she asked, an edge to her voice. “I pre-ordered it months ago!”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Possible, but it says here that someone came to pick up the item for you …”

“What?”

“Yes, a Francis Lehrman.”

Kim’s eyes opened wide. Frugal Lucre.

And he had the new Fearless Ferret video game that she was going to give Ron for Christmas.

“When?”

“Let’s see. About two hours ago.”

Kim directed angry thoughts towards Prof. Dementor. If the pint-sized menace hadn’t tried to steal the pan dimensional vortex inducer – yet again – she wouldn’t be having this problem because she would have been able to pick up Ron’s present first thing that morning when the video game was officially released.

Kim whipped out her Kimmunicator and pressed the call button.

“Hey, Kim!” Wade said cheerfully. “What up?”

“Wade, I need to get to Philadelphia. I don’t care how many favors you have to call in … just get me there. Yesterday.”

“You got it, Kim … mind if I ask what’s going down?”

“Frugal Lucre,” she growled.

II.

Good for his word, Wade had a ride waiting for her the moment she emerged from the Middleton Mall. Parked in the lot, much to the annoyance of shoppers looking for spots, was a GJ hover jet. As Kim approached the aircraft, a door opened and a ladder extended to the tarmac. Kim jogged up the ramp and into the jet and … groaned.

“Kimberly. It is good to see you.”

“Uh, hi Will,” Kim said to her least favorite Global Justice Agent. Still, if he was willing to take her to Philly on such short notice, the least she knew she should do was be gracious. “I am so grateful to you for giving me a lift.”

“A lift?” Will asked, confused. “I was under the impression that you felt you were unable to deal with Frugal Lucre alone. I am here to help you apprehend him.”

Kim seethed. Wade is so busted. Wait. The mission. Focus on the mission. You are going to retrieve Ron’s present, she told herself.

“Uh, yeah,” she said, quickly improvising. “Well, you know, I’m a Club Banana kind of girl and Frugal is a Smarty Mart man and I know how you know everything about everything and I thought you would be able to offer insights into his plan.”

By now, Kim had sat down in the co-pilot’s seat and Will was heading eastwards.

“That was a prudent assumption, Kimberly. My vast experience and my appreciation of the criminal psyche will more than compensate for your limitations.”

Kim’s eyes flashed. She wanted to beat down Will. But she knew that receiving a call from Dr. Director that his girlfriend was in a GJ lockup for attacking their number-one agent was not the way Ron would want to remember this Christmas.

“You seem agitated,” Will noted. “I notice that your sidekick is not with you. Should I infer that not all is well between the two of you? If that is so, I know that Dr. Director would be interested in recruiting you. It would be an excellent opportunity for you and I concede that you have potential. And, if I may add on a personal note, lovely eyes. Perhaps you would be interested in joining me at the Global Justice New Year’s Eve party?”

Kim’s emerald green eyes bugged out. She thought she was having a bad day when she learned that Frugal Lucre had stolen Ron’s present. But now Will Du was somehow finding a way to proposition her while simultaneously insult her!

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Will, but Ron and I are good,” she said, her fierce expression melting into one of affection and desire. “In fact, we’re beyond good. We’re ferociously good.” Kim let herself daydream about being with Ron for just a moment. “He’s just, uh, busy …”

“I see,” Will replied, containing his disappointment – and bewilderment. He simply could not understand what Kim saw in Ron.

“Yes, busy. Very busy,” Kim added, wondering just what Ron might be up to at that moment.

III.

Ron Stoppable was a very satisfied young man at that moment. He had everything ready. No Bueno Nacho Bueno Bucks for Kim this year. Even if she weren’t his girlfriend, after learning just how she really felt about that perennial gift, he would have chosen something else. But now that he had the most bon-diggity girlfriend in Middleton, no, the world, he had pulled out all the stops.

He wrapped the gold charm bracelet he’d picked out for Kim, with Mrs. Dr. P’s assistance. When she told him that charms could be added to it over time, he thought that was badical. He decided to start off with a little pom-pom charm. And he had a special one made – a pandaroo. Ron was looking forward to the expression on Kim’s face when she opened her present. He knew she’d be blown away.

He looked at his handiwork and sighed, feeling a little less satisfied. Wrapping paper and ribbon appeared to be Ron’s natural enemies.

He tried to undo the ribbon, but instead turned the bow into a knot. Grumbling, he cut the ribbon, then tore off the paper.

Rufus, who had been watching from the side, hopped over, looked at the damage, and shook his head.

“It’s a mess, isn’t it, Little Buddy,” Ron sighed.

“Uh huh,” Rufus agreed. Then he looked to his human and smiled. “Paper! Ribbon!” he squeaked. Ron laid out the requested items. Rufus quickly went to work and, moments later, Kim’s present was wrapped, looking like it had been prepared by a professional.

“Boo-yah!” Ron exulted. “You are da man, Rufus! You are da mole rat! Extra cheese on the nacos for you, my friend, the next time we go to Bueno Nacho!”

“Cheese!” Rufus enthused, before he took a little bow and beamed.

“Man, Kim is gonna love this!” Ron said. “So, what do you think she’s gonna give me? Not that I need anything as long as I have her and some of those awesome KP kisses. But she always does the coolest things, ya know, Rufus? Remember the video album? That was sooo cool!”

“Uh huh!”

“Ya know, I am one lucky dude to have a best friend girlfriend like KP!” he said, stretching out his body and twining his fingers behind his head. “It sure is good to be the Rondo!”

IV.

“It’s closing time, Lucre!” Kim snapped.

“Ah, my arch foe, Kim Possible. And I see you have a new sidekick,” the budget villain said in his appallingly bad faux accent.

“I am not a sidekick,” Will protested. “I am a highly trained agent, fluent in seventeen languages and multiple dialects.”

“Oh? A real smarty pants, are you?” Francis jabbed, slipping out of his villains’ voice. “Where’d you get that uniform?”

“It was custom made.”

“Custom made! That must have cost a fortune!” Lucre exclaimed. “You could have gotten something just as good at a fraction of the price at a discount retailer, you retail snob! I hate your kind!”

Kim rolled her eyes. “Melodramatic much, Francis? Hand over what you stole earlier today and we’ll be on our way.”

“You mean this?” he said, brandishing the box.

“Yes!”

“You know if you waited, you could have bought it for 30 percent off at Smarty Mart next month.”

“But I need it now, Frugal,” Kim growled.

“Can’t wait to save a few dollars, can we? Gotta have it now,” he sneered. “Pay top dollar! I see you’re wearing Club Banana when you could have bought the same items for …”

“… a fraction of the price at a discount retailer. I know, I know,” Kim said, exasperated. “I’ve had the conversation with Ron, thank you very much. I understand value shopping and I am so not caught up in labels anymore …”

“Excuse me, Kimberly, but perhaps we should complete the mission and you and Mr. Lucre can continue your colloquy on preferred shopping venues after we take him into custody.”

Kim, embarrassed, blushed. “Er, right.” Then, in horror, she saw a grinning Lucre break the seal on the package. He was ruining Ron’s present!

“Francis, you can’t do that. Stop! Now!” she called out
with urgency.

Will pulled out his GJ laser – issued only to top agents, of course – and fired a bolt with pin-point accuracy at the disk in Frugal’s hand.

“Noooo!” Kim exclaimed in horror.

“What?” Will asked. “He was surely about to use the disk to spread a virus over the internet. I had to stop him from deploying the weapon …”

Francis stood stunned for a moment.

“Weapon? What are you talking about?” he asked. “It is – or was – a video game.”

“A game?” an incredulous Will asked.

“Yes,” Kim said, crushed. “Ron’s Christmas present.”

“I do not understand …” Will, confused, stammered.
“What’s not to understand?” Francis asked. “I read in Villain’s Digest in a profile on heroes’ sidekicks that Ron Stoppable was into four things: Kim Possible, Bueno Nacho, pushing shiny red buttons in lairs, and being the first to get a new video game. I assumed he’d be on the list for one of these babies, and decided to go out to Middleton to claim it. Why wait if I didn’t have to pay? Talk about a bargain!”

Dejected, Kim turned to the stairs. “C’mon, Will, let’s go.”

“Shouldn’t we take in this criminal, anyway? He is guilty of fraud and theft, after all.”

“I don’t care. I have to find another present and be back to Middleton in …ohmygoshthirtyminuteswegottajet!” Kim grabbed Will’s arm and yanked him up and out of the Lehrman household.

V.

Ron insisted that Kim open her present first.

She cooed with delight. And felt that much worse for what she was about to give him. She handed him an envelope.

Ron, with his girlfriend now trying to conceal just how awful she felt, carefully opened the gift.

“Bueno Nacho Bueno Bucks?” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” she said glumly. “I feel so ba …”

Ron wasn’t listening to her. “Badical!” he exclaimed. “This is awesome! My best girl and nacos! This is the best Christmas ever! Coolio!”

“You, you really like it?”

“Oh, yeah!” he said pulling her close. Then, whispering into her ear, he said, “And maybe if I get some Diablo sauce on my lips you’ll help clean it off …”

Kim pulled back just a bit then brushed her lips against Ron’s, before giving him a more … grande-sized kiss. “You mean like that?”

Ron, after they were done, responded with one of his goofy grins. “Yeah!” hesaid dreamily. “Merry Christmas, KP.”

Kim, relieved and filled with joy that she’d made her boyfriend happy, giggled then replied, “And a Merry Christmas, to you, Ron ...” as she leaned in to give himanother grande-sized Yuletide treat.

THE END

[Quin Separable]

*gasp* Oh crud, I never got my story past the first paragraph. Oh well. I'll try again next time. Until then, guess I get to go read the stuff you guys submitted!

[cloudmonet]

And a big welcome to Ron Stoppable's Really Neat Page for Mr.Dr.P!

He does some really fine pencil drawings of KP and company:
mrdrp.deviantart.com/

cloudmonet says check it out!

[Sorsha]

Record of Larry War

By Drakken's Woman

Rated G

Note: This is inspired by Miss Piratess' fic "Geek Love". And I don't own that or anything else mentioned in this fic.





“What do you mean you don’t have the set?”

The owner stared back at Larry, expression steel. “I mean that we don’t have the set. No one has it!”

Larry gave an exasperated sigh. “But I’ve seen it in here before! I know that you have it!”

“Dude, no one keeps the complete set of Record of Lodoss War during the month of December.”

Larry raised an eyebrow.

The shop owner sighed. “Because people like you are always buying them! Figure it out already!”

Larry was not to be beat. “But my girlfriend really wants it all on DVD!”

“Girlfriend?” The man still wore no expression. “The cute Latina girl that wander in here every Wednesday for the Magic games?”

“Yes.” The anger subsided from Larry. “Oh, yes. She’s is a beauty. Come on, you can’t disappoint a babe like that?”

The man finally cracked a smile. “Watch me.”

And Larry did. It was not pleasant. So he grabbed a handful of loose twenty-siders and flung them at the shop owner. Not a single one hit him.

His cousin Kim Possible... she fought villains. Every day, it seemed she was off fighting villains. Like she had nothing better to do. And those villains would never stand for something like that.

Yes. That was it. If he, Larry, were a villain, he would be able to buy Zita a DVD set of Record of Lodoss War for Christmas. And then she would love him forever!

He could see it all now. He would stomp in here, wearing a suitable super-villain costume. Something festive. Yes, festive, considering the season. Santa was overdone, but a reindeer... yes, reindeer were original. Maybe; Larry had spent the last Christmas with his family where his dad had lead a South Pole campaign. Well, he was sure no other villain had worn a reindeer costume. He would have it all set. Sharp, pointy antlers of +7 puncturing. A shiny red nose of +15
blinding. And a gun. Yes, a gun would be original for him–his campaigns were usually something a bit more medieval. On top of that, he would have a giant laser pointed right at this dinky little comic book shop.

That would show them all.

He would storm in here, in the middle of the Christmas rush, all a blaze of glory. And they would all know that he, Larry, was the most evil of all villains. No one could defeat him. No one.

And he would stroll up to the desk and calmly ask for a set of Record of Lodoss War on DVD–gift wrapped, if they wouldn’t mind. And when they said no... he laughed... when they said ‘No’, they would go down. They would go down hard.

He’d light the building on fire. “Joy to the world, the store burned down.” Every gaming book imaginable would go up in smoke. Pewter figurines would melt, their fantasy characteristics steaming away in a puddle of goo.

Then of course, cousin Kim would show up, with her weird boyfriend that had once tried to get after his Zita. And even though Kim always won, she wouldn’t win this time. He would. Kim would die, die, die.

But that would sure put a damper on the family relationships. And that just wasn’t a good thing at
Christmas.

Larry shook the fantasy away, walked out of the store, and pulled out his cell phone. If he couldn’t go evil, Kim could.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Kim,” he began, trying to keep the desperation from his voice. “It’s Larry.”

“Larry!”

He could tell the enthusiasm was fake.

“Yes, Kim, it is Larry. Merry Christmas. I need a favor.”

“Sure, Larry. Anything.”

“I need you to rob a comic book/gaming store for me.”

Kim was silent for a long time.

“Kim?”

“You want me to do what?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I need a present for Zita!” Oops. Begging.

“And you want me to steal you one for her.”

He sighed. “They said they’re out of Record of Lodoss War.”


“Record of what?”

“You wouldn’t understand because you’re popular. But they say they’re out of the DVD set.”

“Then get her the VHS set.”

“They’re out of those as well.” He had even checked on that.

“Then go somewhere else, Larry.”

“No other place in town has the set!” This was getting him nowhere. “What about those villains you fight? What about them?”

“Larry, I’m not calling up a villain to rob a store for Zita. It’s against what I do. You know, you’re sounding desperate. Not your usual self.”

She was mocking him. He knew when he was being mocked. “Well, you’ve never been in love!” He hung up the phone.

No, she had no idea what it was like to be in love. She just had... Ron Stoppable. Even though he was a pretty cool dude. But she still didn’t know the harrowing capacity a heart could feel in the presence of someone like Zita. The yuletide merriment that lasted any time of the year when she was around. Zita. No wonder he wasn’t his usual calm self.

It was all Zita. Sweet, dear Zita, champion of Everlot. Always and forever the paladin of justice and goodness.

She would never approve of him robbing a store.

His heart sank.

He didn’t have to be a villain to get her those DVDs. He could be good. The hero. Yes, the hero.

He’d march in there, most heroically, and demand a set of DVDs in the name of justice. No, that was back to being evil. One of Kim’s villains would be in the store, trying to rob the exact same DVD set. And he, Larry the Great, would stop him. And save several orphans at the same time. Zita would be watching. Everyone would cheer, and bestow the DVDs upon him in gratitude.




Yet somehow he wound up buying her a gold locket instead. Kim suggested it, after he called her back to apologize.

“Oh, Larry!” Zita squealed as she slid it around her neck. “It’s lovely!”

He smiled. “Yeah, I thought of you the moment I saw it.”

“You’re so sweet!” She kissed him on the cheek. “You know, we are under mistletoe.”

Oh, yes.

“I just hope you didn’t go to any drastic measures to get it for me,” she said, fingering the locket in glee.

He still couldn’t help she would have been happier with Record of Lodoss War. “No... but I
would have.”

[cloudmonet]

I'm pretty much just posting here to keep the thread in sight to make voting easier. Some casual, non-quality related observations. One 8th grade story, one apparently 11th grade story, and four 12th grade stories. The Larry and Shego stories didn't provide enough information for me to pin down a date, though the Larry has to be at least 11th grade (he could be dating Zita at the time of Steal Wheels). Jewelry-- but noticeably, no one did an engagement ring-- and products relating to the Fearless Ferret show seem to be the most popular gift items. The stories are all K/R shippy (if Kim and Ron appear), but this is canon now. None of them are D/S shippy. Four stories lack onstage villains. Drakken and Shego appear twice, both times buying presents. Monkey Fist appears twice, one time buying a present, another time stealing one. Frugal Lucre steals a present in his only appearance. Josh Mankey appears twice, both times as a major jerk. Will Du appears once and appears to have developed some romantic interest in Kim. Oooh, wouldn't a tale like that be even more fascinating if it happened before So the Drama? The mind reels.

[surforst]

cloudmonet said:

Josh Mankey appears twice, both times as a major jerk.

Josh was a jerk in my story? Try talking to one of your friends who gets dumped. Same conversation after all I based it off my own personal life on that bit. Guy was just ticked off but it soon went away when he felt sorry for Ron. I mean wouldn't you?

That's all I want to say. You know in defense of Josh who probably isn't that bad of a guy. Though I know ezbok will always hate him.

[cloudmonet]

No objections to this really. We don't really see enough of Josh in the show to know what he's really thinking. We don't know what "We grew apart" really means. His facade as seen by Kim, Ron, and Monique is kind of enigmatic. You do show him to be a different kind of jerk than ezbok does. When I used him in "Art Attack," I focused on his artistic side and made him a nice guy, but unless we see more of him in season four, there's no way to know what's right.

What intrigues me about your story most is the mysterious backstory about Monkey Fist. What's going on with him and his deceased children?

[surforst]

cloudmonet said:

No objections to this really. We don't really see enough of Josh in the show to know what he's really thinking. We don't know what "We grew apart" really means. His facade as seen by Kim, Ron, and Monique is kind of enigmatic. You do show him to be a different kind of jerk than ezbok does. When I used him in "Art Attack," I focused on his artistic side and made him a nice guy, but unless we see more of him in season four, there's no way to know what's right.

What intrigues me about your story most is the mysterious backstory about Monkey Fist. What's going on with him and his deceased children?

Still say he acts normal so what does that say about me?

Anyway Monkey Fist past is an interesting one. You'll have to wait till I write it in one of my stories to get the whole picture though. The whole basic point behind it though is it will provide a reason why Monty is a villain. I'm not happy with the whole 'I'm evil because...I'm evil?' bit in shows. I like giving my villains a reason and the crazier the reason the crazier the villain. That's about it but it's more foreshadowing what will happen in another story. I like doing that in one-shots.