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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 9, 2005 17:43:10 GMT -5
I'm writing a new fanfic. Drakken and Kim get stuck together by Dementor's bonding chemical. Kim has broken the law (for a good reason), and they both must go on the run from the police. Three chapters up so far.
edit: I removed the link to the story, since it's now rated M.
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 11, 2005 17:53:22 GMT -5
Chapter 4 now up.  |
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Post by monkeylove on Dec 11, 2005 18:26:41 GMT -5
*reads* XD
edit: Great, well-written story so far. Ron's attitude surprised me though, lol
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 11, 2005 19:17:00 GMT -5
*reads* XD edit: Great, well-written story so far. Ron's attitude surprised me though, lol Yeah, I made Ron kind of a jerk, so that Kim will break up with him, and be free to pursue someone else (guess who?)  |
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Post by badgirl35 thinks Alvin is HOT! on Dec 11, 2005 21:03:04 GMT -5
MY EYES! MY EYES!
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Molloy
Yellow Trout
millions millions there are millions of us and there are three
Posts: 81
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Post by Molloy on Dec 13, 2005 12:03:07 GMT -5
I have to agree with monkeylove. I like the story, but I am more than a little disturbed by Ron. I understand why you are doing it, but it definitely seems out of character. If anything, I would think Ron would be even more upset than Kim at Drakken's death sentence.
I don't think you would necessarily have to make him a jerk to get the DraKim going. Maybe I don't remember it correctly, but Ron wasn't a jerk in your previous DraKim fic.
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Post by aliciamartin on Dec 13, 2005 17:06:28 GMT -5
nice story Drakkenfan i read it at fanfiction it was great i'll read chapter 4 soon  |
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Post by aliciamartin on Dec 14, 2005 10:10:32 GMT -5
i read chapter 4 now it was great |
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 16, 2005 1:42:44 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for the constructive criticism about Ron. I wrote about him some more in chapter 5, to make him more in character, and to provide some explanation for his somewhat "out-of-character" moment in chapter 4. I hope it fixes the problem. Please let me know what you think.
I also added chapter 6 too. ;D
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Post by aliciamartin on Dec 16, 2005 9:33:39 GMT -5
i'll read them soon buddy ;D |
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Molloy
Yellow Trout
millions millions there are millions of us and there are three
Posts: 81
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Post by Molloy on Dec 16, 2005 14:54:59 GMT -5
I like how you placed Kim and Drakken in a share lair with Dementor's stuff ... I was wondering how you were going to work in the bondo-ball. I also like Drakken mistaking KP for Shego. Nice rounding off of Ron's character, too.
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 16, 2005 15:17:21 GMT -5
Thanks Molloy ;D
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Post by monkeylove on Dec 18, 2005 7:05:35 GMT -5
I definitely liked how you fixed Ron. XD Poor Ron, hehe.
I just read chapter 6 and I like it a lot, particularly the underwear scene. XD
I want monkey underpants now. XD
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Post by Raptor™ on Dec 18, 2005 7:54:19 GMT -5
Cool!!! I'll admit I was a bit turned off when a read sort of a preview that this was Drakken/Kim, but when I decided to give it a try, and read it, it was pretty good. Thanks for teaching me to have an open mind. It was also good that each chapter wasn't too long, every1 of them so far was spread out just right. Keep it up drakkenfan!!!!! ;D
Never knew that Ron could be that mean (referring to Chp. 4)....
Oh, just asking, they were stuck in the stomach right? Is it side-to-side or front-to-front? ;D
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 18, 2005 9:11:35 GMT -5
Cool!!! I'll admit I was a bit turned off when a read sort of a preview that this was Drakken/Kim, but when I decided to give it a try, and read it, it was pretty good. Thanks for teaching me to have an open mind. It was also good that each chapter wasn't too long, every1 of them so far was spread out just right. Keep it up drakkenfan!!!!! ;D Never knew that Ron could be that mean (referring to Chp. 4).... Oh, just asking, they were stuck in the stomach right? Is it side-to-side or front-to-front? ;D They're face-to-face.... I'll mention that in chapter 7, so there won't be any confusion. |
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Molloy
Yellow Trout
millions millions there are millions of us and there are three
Posts: 81
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Post by Molloy on Dec 18, 2005 15:36:43 GMT -5
Face-to-face!?! Whoah! That's Sick and Wrong! |
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 18, 2005 16:20:16 GMT -5
Face-to-face!?! Whoah! That's Sick and Wrong! Awesome!! A "sick and wrong" comment! I live for those! ;D |
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 18, 2005 18:28:13 GMT -5
Chapter 7 now up! |
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Molloy
Yellow Trout
millions millions there are millions of us and there are three
Posts: 81
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Post by Molloy on Dec 19, 2005 11:59:19 GMT -5
Just read chapter 7. Well done. Nice cliff-hanger as well.
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Post by drakkenfan on Dec 21, 2005 17:08:22 GMT -5
Thanks Molloy. Chapter 8 now up. |
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