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Post by Ezbok58a on Oct 4, 2005 16:24:22 GMT -5
I have a couple new stories in my head and some of it is written down (will be posted at a later date this week) and want to see what you guys(and girls) think.
First story is:
The Horrors of War
Dementor has created a Time Travel device that Drakken wants, but Team Possible shows up to prevent this. However Drakken uses the device to escape into the time stream, and Kim is the only one who is able to follow him. Leaving Ron and I (third one with me) trying to figure out where they went. The next on a school trip to the Middleton Vietnam war memorial the answer becomes very clear where Drakken and Kim went.
Leaving Ron and I one other device and a full blown war to try and Save her.
This story will be a R rating (M for ff.net ratings) If you could handle Saving Private Ryan or similar war movies you should handle this one.
Story 2
State Troopers
New management takes over Global Justice and forces Kim and Ron out of saving the world, still wanting to do good for their community, the two decide to join the Colorado State Police. But the life of a trooper is more dangerous than that of a teen hero.
This would be a teen rating(pg-13) I am trying to get aspects of it as realistic as possible regarding codes and equipment troopers carry, so this will take a while.
It also involves alot of traffic stops, hot pursuits, drug busts, and some other dangerous aspects that troopers have to face.
What do you think?
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Post by taechunsa on Oct 4, 2005 17:01:21 GMT -5
The Horrors of War Dementor has created a Time Travel device that Drakken wants, but Team Possible shows up to prevent this. However Drakken uses the device to escape into the time stream, and Kim is the only one who is able to follow him. Leaving Ron and I (third one with me) trying to figure out where they went. The next on a school trip to the Middleton Vietnam war memorial the answer becomes very clear where Drakken and Kim went. Leaving Ron and I one other device and a full blown war to try and Save her. This story will be a R rating (M for ff.net ratings) If you could handle Saving Private Ryan or similar war movies you should handle this one. Take out the SI and I like it. Leave in the SI and I will most likely not be reading it. People project so much of themselves into their characters already that I have never understood the desire to actually write oneself into a story. All it does is detract from the protagonist of the story. I have only read one SI ever, that was worth reading. Almost invariably the SI simply becomes a Mary or Gary Sue and the entire story ends up revolving around the SI instead of the characters that the story is supposed to revolve around. The one SI that was actually well written was great in many respects because it was the only one that I have ever read where the person was actually written realistically. It was hilarious because everything that the SI tried to do to fix the story backfired and only made things worse. He was constantly getting kicked around and almost indefinitely had to be saved from everything as he found himself completely overwhelmed among the superhuman characters of the story. Keep this in mind if you still insist on writing an SI. People don’t read KP fanfictions to read about other characters (SI people). They read KP fanfiction to read about the KP characters. Story 2 State Troopers New management takes over Global Justice and forces Kim and Ron out of saving the world, still wanting to do good for their community, the two decide to join the Colorado State Police. But the life of a trooper is more dangerous than that of a teen hero. This would be a teen rating(pg-13) I am trying to get aspects of it as realistic as possible regarding codes and equipment troopers carry, so this will take a while. It also involves alot of traffic stops, hot pursuits, drug busts, and some other dangerous aspects that troopers have to face. Sounds a lot like Recon228’s “Thin Blue Line”. You might want to take a look at that story before you try and write virtually the exact same story. |
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Post by Ezbok58a on Oct 4, 2005 17:37:51 GMT -5
I know the second sounds alot like "The Thin Blue Line" I haven't commited fully to the story yet so it is bound to change, especially on how they got there.
After reading Recon228s story I do not want to steal anything from it, that is why I asked here first to get some ideas. The only problematic area of the story is how the 2 got into the state police, (State Police, not Local)
I might change that to a disaster of gigantic proportions that shock the 2 out of the business (On the Job accident if you will)
Horrors of War is probably going to be the last real story with myself in it, and I might just ax that, but so far it is coming out good.
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Post by Ezbok58a on Oct 4, 2005 19:16:49 GMT -5
The Horrors of War Dementor has created a Time Travel device that Drakken wants, but Team Possible shows up to prevent this. However Drakken uses the device to escape into the time stream, and Kim is the only one who is able to follow him. Leaving Ron and I (third one with me) trying to figure out where they went. The next on a school trip to the Middleton Vietnam war memorial the answer becomes very clear where Drakken and Kim went. Leaving Ron and I one other device and a full blown war to try and Save her. This story will be a R rating (M for ff.net ratings) If you could handle Saving Private Ryan or similar war movies you should handle this one. Take out the SI and I like it. Leave in the SI and I will most likely not be reading it. People project so much of themselves into their characters already that I have never understood the desire to actually write oneself into a story. All it does is detract from the protagonist of the story. I have only read one SI ever, that was worth reading. Almost invariably the SI simply becomes a Mary or Gary Sue and the entire story ends up revolving around the SI instead of the characters that the story is supposed to revolve around. The one SI that was actually well written was great in many respects because it was the only one that I have ever read where the person was actually written realistically. It was hilarious because everything that the SI tried to do to fix the story backfired and only made things worse. He was constantly getting kicked around and almost indefinitely had to be saved from everything as he found himself completely overwhelmed among the superhuman characters of the story. Keep this in mind if you still insist on writing an SI. People don’t read KP fanfictions to read about other characters (SI people). They read KP fanfiction to read about the KP characters. Story 2 State Troopers New management takes over Global Justice and forces Kim and Ron out of saving the world, still wanting to do good for their community, the two decide to join the Colorado State Police. But the life of a trooper is more dangerous than that of a teen hero. This would be a teen rating(pg-13) I am trying to get aspects of it as realistic as possible regarding codes and equipment troopers carry, so this will take a while. It also involves alot of traffic stops, hot pursuits, drug busts, and some other dangerous aspects that troopers have to face. Sounds a lot like Recon228’s “Thin Blue Line”. You might want to take a look at that story before you try and write virtually the exact same story. Actually that makes sense (I wondered why my stories had little reviews) Horrors of war will be re-written when I get back to it on my home computer, including Ron and Josh this time (thought that up during my last post here) State Troopers will have me in it, but I am not a main character, I show up maybe 3 times in the whole darn thing. I'm finalizing just how Kim and Ron get into Law Enforcement from the hero business, (not going to involve being forced out, but a big event that shakes the 2 up) Plus, it stays closer to the Highway Patrol events rather than domestic disturbances and the like. |
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Post by taechunsa on Oct 4, 2005 19:54:57 GMT -5
Actually that makes sense (I wondered why my stories had little reviews) Horrors of war will be re-written when I get back to it on my home computer, including Ron and Josh this time (thought that up during my last post here) State Troopers will have me in it, but I am not a main character, I show up maybe 3 times in the whole darn thing. I'm finalizing just how Kim and Ron get into Law Enforcement from the hero business, (not going to involve being forced out, but a big event that shakes the 2 up) Plus, it stays closer to the Highway Patrol events rather than domestic disturbances and the like. Again, I am just glad that I could help. I like both proposed changes to the ideas. Having Ron and Josh work together really adds the possibility for some excellent characters conflict. Are you going to have this be post StD? If so, perhaps Josh wasn't as keen on Kim and him drifting apart. A little love conflict is always good, just keep in mind that Kim doesn't have to actually be interested in Josh for there to be conflict between Josh and Ron. The changes to State Troopers sound great as well. This should introduce enough differences between "The Thin Blue Line" and "State Troopers" to allow for both stories to develop without stepping on any toes. Sorry, that I can't be any more help with how to get them there. I personally don't ever see Kim or Ron becoming law enforcement officials. So I can't reasonably come up with a believable way to move them in that direction. I look forward to seeing what you come up with. |
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Post by Ezbok58a on Oct 4, 2005 20:22:29 GMT -5
I actually got the idea for state troopers after watching worlds wildest police chases, Infact the opening chapters are going to involve the 2 in a high speed pursuit.
Horrors of War will be after a StD, Josh still cares for Kim, but not in the way Ron does, and Felix can't go because of the wheel chair. (can't manuver in the jungle of 1969 with a cybertronics wheel chair) It will allow Ron and Kosh to connect more as friends instead of rivals as they have been (Ron never being keen on Mankey).
Horrors of War is not going to be politically correct either, Its the Vietnam war. They did some low things to kill us (Baby killer comes to mind, as does Pungy sticks) so this will be a hardship for the 2 to get used too.
I'm glad you had the guts to come out and say what you did, otherwise I'd still write good stories that noone will ever read because my character is in it (Like Pushed Too Far)
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