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Post by surforst on Jan 20, 2006 4:33:47 GMT -5
Yet another one-shot by Surforst. Warning this one is not for kiddies but it still should be PG-13 not R. I hope at least. www.fanfiction.net/s/2760983/1/Summary: Little something I created for a backstory for Monkey Fist. Hope you enjoy. Warning contains violence and all that good stuff. Related to the Christmas shopping story. Well read and review like usual. |
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Post by cloudmonet on Jan 21, 2006 13:44:09 GMT -5
Okay, I'm not quite sure how to discuss this one without posting spoilers, not something that usually inhibits me, but in this case, the backstory, the stream of consciousness look at madness from the inside, and the events shown are sufficiently startling that revelation would work against the effect desired. What really happened and when it happened are intentionally left vague. You know things are going bad when you can't get at the people who hurt you and instead turn on the people who are trying to help.
My only complaint is now I'm gonna have to clarify my own backstory for Monkey Fist to stop my head from drifting toward yours. Up till now I've just accepted him as one of life's enigmas, and watched what he did in my own stories to see if it revealed anything new. So far, no.
Not that your Monkey Fist isn't still very much an enigma. There's still the mystery of why he responded to the trauma he suffered in that particular way, and exactly what he's trying to accomplish. I'm not sure whether he knows.
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Post by surforst on Jan 22, 2006 6:32:54 GMT -5
the stream of consciousness look at madness from the inside Yes because I intended to do that...God I had to look this back up to figure out what you were talking about. Cloudmonte you know I slept through Lit stop trying to bring up bad memories. Anyway few comments I'll post for the heck of it. Nothing to ruin the story just a few interesting points. 1. This is the first story that introduces the 'Russian Incident' pre-incident but it is the beginning of things. Let's just say this will be a nasty over all thing way too big for Team Possible. They'll mostly be caught up in it. If you still can't find the line where it is introduced just message me and I'll give it to you. 2. The interesting thing I want you all to think about is who he viewed as hurting him. Just think about it. 3. Lol yeah now I'm debating whether to combine 'Sick Day' universe and this one together. Let's just say the happy romance early on will meet a bumpy road when this story universe gets started. I cringe at how I'm going to end it. It's sad when the author feels bad for his characters so much he's attempted to change the overall plot. 4. Even I can't answer if he truly knows what he intends to do. He's got an objective and it's already started. Note the single fight in the story. That should give you an indicator at what's going on to a very small degree. Anyway glad you enjoyed it. I was thinking to myself this was yet another failure as a one-shot but hey your review made it worth writing in the end. I just got to come up with a way to draw attention to the universe related to this story and the 'Russian Incident' both of which will mix with the other. Oh well I'll figure that out later. |
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Post by cloudmonet on Jan 24, 2006 0:15:16 GMT -5
Sorry. When called upon to do literary criticism, I lapse into the language of lit crit. If you're gonna write stream of consciousness, you may as well know what it's called.
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