Exchange --> My very first Fanfic

[haebman]

Hello.

Don´t know but somehow I got the idea to merge KP with my
own characters and storie I did a wile back. It is really not the best story out there, it´s about agents and betrayal and such things... basically I mix all thinks I found cool together to one storie with my own characters...

Here is the deal: Nigel Crestem is basically a male version of Kim except he is no freelancer but works for "Shadow Net" since his child hood. His parents are working there too, his mother as analyst and his father as a technician ( they come to know each other in the agency). They wanted to become him something not so dangerous but he decides early to become a field agent , Mostly because he wants to impress the ladys which them he have trouble, although he is a handsome guy.
His character is lighthearted, like Ron but no so "clownish"
He visits a normal public school and acts like an average student although he could have the best marks. He has an high IQ and is very good in sports but he wants to keep a low profile....

And no, he is no Rip-Off from Kim. I "designed" him before I know KP. Besides, his story is far darker than KP. He is trained to kill. And he does if necessary but avoids it if he can.
As said before he is a lovable character who takes his job with humor but as the story progresses he is faced with serious changes. The world as he knew is falling apart than his own mentor, Crawd, betrays the Unit he served during the infiltration of an secret lab. He used him as a puppet and finally wounded him, leaving him behind to die.
Finally he faced his arch-foe and they have brutal hand-to-hand fight on top of a high building. Crawd managed to escape, dealing severe injuries on Nigel….

Problem is that the storie was written in Nacospeak and the bigger problem is that I lost all of it during a crash of my system….and I don´t want to write it again.

As for the mix with KP: Nigel has serious problems finding a girl. He just can’t talk with them or they dump him for the stupidest reasons. I like the character so I want to do him a favour and hook him up with Kim. I see them as powerful duo. Especially how the relation develops, this will be fun to do. Ron will be with Zita I think. She is cool character and definitely likes him.

The story starts after the last chapter of his original story.
If there are questions feel free to ask.
I must say that I don´t have much time so I don´t know when I start with the real thing. I just want to hear some comments if this idea is worth to write about

So here it is the first chapter I wrote in 10 Minutes today ;D It is my first story in english so have mercy with my grammar and spelling...



Arrival !



„Attention please! We will arrive at Tri-City Airport in about 15 Minutes. Please fasten your seat belts and prepare for landing, thank you.”

“Finally” he looked out of the window watching his reflection. His hair was a mess. No wonder, he must have slept about three hours, waltzing his head. It was a long time from Germany to the USA. Time he used to think about the latest events that forced him to this “exchange”. He has to lay low that was for sure. His only relief was that his parents were safe.
It gave him trouble to think about what this traitor might have done to them if he had found them.
Yes he was a traitor. Crawd. That funking bastard.

“argh”…. Just thinking about that donut hole makes him feel the pain again. He touches the scar. “You darn bastard…. Should have killed you” he mumbles. If it weren’t for the sudden appearance of this stupid police officer he would have finished him of for good…. The battle on top of the building was fierce. “ You can’t defeat me! I raised you from the beginning” that were his words… He believed that as well but he was so full of anger at the time, he didn´t even feel the pain the wound gave him which could as well kill him as the doctor said afterwards….

He shook his head. That was in the past, he has to focus on the thinks before him.
Middleton. That’s were he would live for this year. It seems like a good enough place. Jamil lived together with his folks in the outskirts of this little town. He only feels bad for his classmates in the old school. Leaving them like this.
“Well, this are the sacrifices one must make as an agent” said the chief. “ You won’t be bothered in Middleton. Just relax till we find Crawd and the other agents he took with him.”
.................
He sure want belief the chief but…… Crawd was dangerous. He is out in the wild, forming a new group of killers and then…..

O well but who cares… now his only concerns shall be the new school. “Middleton High”-
“hope I can enrol in the basketball team” he said to himself. He looked out of the window again, it doesn’t look so bad as he had thougt.

“We are now going to land at Tri-City Airport! Please be careful when you leave the plain! Thank you for flying with us and have a nice day”

So that’s it. His new life!


Thx for reading btw

[haebman]

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New Student ?


“Kim, get up ! Your late!” mmmm….. Kim opened her eyes… “What….which time is it…?” “ It is 8 o’clock! Now get up or you won´t make it in time!” Slowly she gets up, stretching herself. “ darn… shouldn´t take a rescue job if I´m going to have a test the other day…”
With tired eyes she walks towards the bathroom.

RingRang. The doorbell rang. “ That is Monique” Kim shouted from above to her mother.
“ We will walk to school together”. As Mrs. Possible opened the door, Monique jumped in.
“ Good morning Mrs. Possible” “ Morning Monique”.
As she get the thinks for school together, Kim remembered Monique calling her the last night – the time she finally fell asleep- and telling her about some mayor big news. What could possibly so important to call that late in the night ? “ You´ll see “ Monique replied, leaving the reason for her call completely in the dark.
On the way down Kim graps Monique and drag her along to the door. “ By Mom”. “ Buy K….. She closed the door.

The two walked along the sidewalk. “ So, what about Ron? Wasn´t he supposed to come with us?” Monique asked.” Nah… he has some…other arrangements to make he said” “o I see…”
Kim glanced over to Monique. “ So about the terribly important news…” “ O yea! You won´t believe it but….” She makes a dramatic pause “ we will get a new student” “ what ? how do you know?!” “ you see girl, it was yesterday in Club Banana during my shift. I saw Mr. Barkin on the floor—and he wasn´t alone!” “The new student?” She was tired but this seems interesting. “ yea. As far as I get the talk they met by accident in the store. They talked about which subjects to chose, which gets my attention – he will be in Latin by the way” “ He?” “yes, that´s the good part girl. He is a handsome fellow. Definitely better looking than the average guy – including the football players” “ u hu…” She doesn’t know what to think about this. After the story with Josh she wasn´t that much into boys… “ he is taking Latin you say… “ “ thought I prepare you. He is the type you would like, I can tell.” “…just by seeing him for a brief moment?” “ Trust me on this girl” Now Kim wasn’t tired anymore. She was excited to meet with this new guy. If it weren´t for the stupid test…. In Latin!


“So this is my new school,eh ? It looks okay I guess…” He stands right in front of the sign, saying “–Middleton High- Cheerleading Practice at 4 am”. “ Cheerleaders hmm ? Haven´t got something like that in my old school…” “ Can´t live without them here in the US…” Jamil was, despite his name, a real American like you would imagine him from the stupid movies on TV. He was Nigel’s lifesaver back than in Genotechs Lab. Since this incident the two were almost inseparable. Then he came up with the idea to move him in this little town he could have…well…kissed him. “What are you doing now by the way? We have no post here, do we ?” “Sure we have” he smiled “Intelligence gathering is always one of the most important businesses”. Nigel frowned. ”And you want to gather…where exactly?” “We have a rocket lab here in Middleton, they are always developing cool new stuff there!” “Awesome”. Jamil peeked on his wrisnacoch. “It´s about time my friend, you should go now, see this Barkin fellow we met yesterday” “Yea, you´r right. Now well, I´m off ! By.”.
Jamil watched as Nigel moves towards the entrance. He wished him good luck. The last month was really hard for Nigel, he knew that. The boy deserved some rest. With this thoughts in mind he turned around and walked to his car.

“Strange” he thought “was this guy holding a naked mole rat just now !?”
“Let’s see… where was the office now…”.Somehow Nigel managed to get lost in the halls of Middletons highshool. “boo-yah! Why have this school to be so darn huge? “. He wandered around, keeping on the lookout for any sign which could help him find the office Barkin told him about yesterday. How late was it anyway?. There was no one to see on the floor.
As he walked around the corner something strange happened. He saw a… what was this thing…a bold hamster??? “ Hey now! What kind of school is this? They making sick experiments here? I had enough of this crap the last weeks”. “Rufus, come back at once”. He heard a voice call. “A for gods sake” he thought by himself. He dropped the bag back, quickly following the rodent. “Here we go”, fast as he was he stretched his arm, grapping the creature by its tail. “You have some mighty big teeth my friend… better keep them away from my face…” The creature was actually kind of cute. Not as gross as he thought the first time.
“Rufus” On the other side appeared a boy. “Ru…” he saw Nigel. “HEY ! DROP HIM AT ONCE”.
The boy doesn’t look like a thread but Nigel don´t want to pick up a fight. “Well here you go buddy. Better keep watch over your hamster” Nigel released the creature from his grip. It runs right away to it´s owner. The boy took him on his hand and placed him in his…pocket. “ He is a nacked mole rat, you know” “ Sorry haven´t seen one before. It is nor your every day pet,is it?” “ No, I guess not....” “ O, what about my manners” Nigel quickly changed the subject. There was no point in making enemies the first day at the new school. “ I´m Nigel. Nigel Crestem, nice to meet you…?” “ Ron, Ron Stoppable. And you did a fine job by catching Rufus. He IS quick after all” “ So am I. It comes from the video games, I guess” “ You like ém? So do I but,… I never seen you around before…” “Well how should you. I´m new here. Actually I am looking for the office to get my class assignments from this Barkin.” “ You are on the right address then! Ron Stoppable knows everyone and everything around here” ”Is that so? Than show me the way if possible, please”

Ron watched him as the two walked along the hall. Nigel looked like a nice enough guy. ”Say, Ron, why are you here at this time? You honestly don´t seem like the type who is the first to have a seat in class” “haha, got me where” Ron blushed. “so THAT´S it “ Nigel smiled, he knows the drill. ”You trying to impress a girl aren´t you!” “Why should I tell you? I know you for about 5 minutes!! Get serious” …. Silence. Finally Ron talked again. “Her name is Zita, Zita Flores. I really don´t know anything about her except she comes really early to finish some work for her workshop.” “You wanted to talk to her? Good Idea, impress her.”
“You know the girls, do you?”. Ron thought he must. He definitely looked like a ladymen.
“To be honest…” What should he say… actually he never had a girlfriend… and he was 19, poor statistic. “…no” “oh”. “I tried darn it!! For about 100times! But it never worked out in the end. Girls are like the Sphynx. You never know where you´re standing!” Suddenly he bursted it all out. He don´t know why but it feels so good to talk to someone who he don´t really knows about this things. “ Woa, calm down pretty boy!” ….”Here we are. The entrance to the office” “Thanks Ron” Nigel knocked at the door. “Come in!” As he was to open the door he turned around. “Hey Ron! Good luck!” “Thanks!”. Then he walked in the office, closing the door behind him.
“What a strange fellow Rufus.” Ron shook his head. “I think we will hear more from him….aa I totally forgot about Zita!! Rufus let´s hurry”. And then he ran away.
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I just wrote this to get an idea how to write the KP characters. I guess I failed particular with Ron and Nigel came out as an arrogant idiot, o well. Comments anyone?

O and one quick question: were can I post FanFics, I don´t want to spam here everytime ;D

[Commander Argus]

fanfiction.net is the best place.

[haebman]

I really don´t like it to tripple post in my own topic
But @ Argus : for some technical reasons I can´t join fanfiction.net....

so I just post the next chapter I finished just now. (It´s fun to write in english but I do make a lot of mistakes, I guess. But how can I tell...no one replies )

Anyway I was in a bit darker mood today so I just wrote the first chapter for the villians. (The chapter before is the first meeting between Nigel and Kim, wasn´t sooo happy though ;D)
Drakken and Shego you might know (you should if you are a memeber here actually^^). The other three are my own creations.
You might know the names Castor and Pollux. These are the ´Dioskuren´-Brothers from greek mhytology. I changed the concept though, the two don´t get along that well and Pollux is a woman rather than a man. The Boss ...,well, if you read the first post you might guess who he is
O and I have to warn you, it might not be to pleasant. I hope I haven´t gone to far with Castor ( he wasn´t always that way--- after certain events he got seriosly mixed up in his head )
So if anyone read this give a comment
please and thank you
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The sword of God


“You really….You actually… tell me that you were TRICKED BY A LITTLE GIRL !!!”
Shego twirled together by the sound of the voice. She was not one who was easy to impress, but this man the voice belonged to…. he was fear itself!
“But…but…Kim Possible she….” “ Don’t give me that crap!!” Shego could imagine how Drakken shrieked together.
“This man was very important for our plan Drakken! I know your not the smartest or meanest villain around but… that you couldn’t even hold a third class politician like him in place!!!”
“but…Kim Possible came …and then….” “I told the Boss Drakken! He was really pissed of and is on his way right now!”
O dear God. Shego turned white. If the man who was talking to Drakken was fear in person…then his boss was ten times worse. She saw him once, but that time was enough for her. He starred at her with his eyes, black like death itself, with a nasty scar running through one of them. The man didn’t talk much but when he was around even the guy who was with Drakken right now feared to say a wrong word. If it weren’t for the woman who was with them she might already be dead……
“Shego!” She shrieked, as she hadn’t noticed his sudden approach. “S-Sir” she had to call him that. “Were have you been than this fool let our hostage be rescued by a SCHOOL GIRL!” “I—ahm—she knocked me down….Sir” “She did …what?” He moved up to her, to fast for Shego to even react, grapping her hard, moving his face close to hers. She could smell his breath. It was disgusting. ”You know…I honestly thought you would be smarter than that….I fear I have to penalize you….!” With a insanely speed and power he forced his lips on hers, touching her breast. Now the moment has come, Shego thought. But this time no one would rescue her and to resist would be the same as suicide…..if only……
“CASTOR!!” The man released Shego from his grip, throwing her to the ground . “ Let her go…NOW” She was it. It was the same voice as the last time.
“Pollux…I just well…wanted to teach her a lesson” “You’re a piece of naco brother. Forcing yourself on woman like that.” “But she let the hostage escape…she lost against a kid!!”
Pollux moved along the wide hall approaching the two of them. Shego envy’s her, she was so much faster and stronger than herself. Even her green power could not damage her. And now she has rescued her the second time from this…monster. Now she reached her hand out to Shego, who still lies on the ground. “It is ok. He won´t hurt you a third time.” She looked up to her brother. “Got that?!”. “You are in no position to give me orders, you hear” Castor cried.
“ But I am!”. “U äh.. boss.. we … well, just there fooling around a bit you see?” “ I see…”
Shego looked at the man who just appeared at the door. It was him, the master of the monster.
Even in this shady light she could see the black eyes and the scar running through his left eye. Also she catches sight of the sword which hang in his belt. As far as she could tell he was a master swordsman. He killed 15 of Drakkens man then they appeared two weeks ago. This does not mean much but they were equipped with the new Laser-Fightingsticks from Henchco,which even gave Kim much trouble yesterday. He dodged every single blow with ease and then rip through the men like they were not even existent to him.
“So you noticed eh?” he was right besides Shego. Now he whispered so that only she could hear him:“ They call it the ´Sword of God´, you know. In an old Japanese legend they say that non living being could stand against it! So do not come up with stupid ideas, you here me?”
Then he talked to Castor, while Pollux dragged Drakken to them. “ Now what happened? You sounded darn angry at the speaker!” “ Boss this…idiot had our hostage get rescued by a girl!” “Is that so?” Shego wondered. He seemed more amused than ´pissed´, like Castor had said before. Now he moved towards Drakken. “Dr. is that true? Did a girl rescued him” Drakken was more white than blue now…”Y..yes.It was Kim Possible, you know, the teen hero, she…” “Never have heard from her!” “Sir I have” It was Pollux who said that. “Apparently she works with Global Justice.” The Boss grinned. “Global Justice?! They are a bunch of losers. Why are they even involved in this? It has nothing to do with them anyway.”
“Since the theft in Genotech lab. has become public I guess they keep an eye on everyone who looks suspicious.” “Like us” moaned Castor. He seems rather unpleast that his sister interfered in his little…game. He gave Shego a mad look.
“About you Castor….were have you been by the way? As I recall you where supposed to be on guard-duty?!” “ I …ähm”. He gets nervous, the boss was playing with his hands on the top of his sword – no good sign! “having fun with little girls I suppose…brother” Pollux sounded disgusted. Shego already figured that they can’t stand each other. Maybe she could use this as an advantag. “Castor…. Sometimes I want to cut of that stupid head of yours…but you know…your failure might actually proof useful in the near future!” So that was it. That bastard had already thought about a new plan! The boss turned to Drakken again. “Listen.
I let this one slide by and give you another chance. Your not as stupid as you look afterall. Your plan with these Diablo-Toys was good….that’s the reason I choose you over the others in my list”. (O how grateful we are, Shego thought). Drakken seemed relieved. “But Dr. you should know (by now) that I and my people (especially Castor) are very short tempered. So your next failure might cost you your head. You got that?!” “Narg…yes, I go that”. Drakken was less tempered as usual. His will was broke after the Boss had a little…talk with him the day they arrived here. Shego didn’t get what they where talking about – she was more busy avoiding Castor – but it must have been something big. The Doctor won`t let her know what their plan was, not even then they had the chance to talk openly ( mostly the times Castor had watch-duty – he was gone most of the time, she don’t want to know where of to…).
Everything had changed since the Boss and the ´deadly pair´, as he referred to them sometimes, arrived. Kim was lucky yesterday that she has arrived at a time Castor was gone missing for a while. Not that Shego has much love for the girl but Castor would have finished her…after he had his fun with her… he was a sick bastard. If she would get the chance to kill him… she would not hesitate to do so.
“Castor!” The Boss walked away from them towards the exit. “Follow me! We have work to do! You two…” he was talking to Drakken and Shego “…You have some free time. Enjoy it!
Pollux!” She listened. “You will stay. If some Global Justice girls break in here… let them live!” It was intended as a joke but…Pollux was no less dangerous than her brother, even more so because she was able to think rational. The two had a – to the disappointment for Shego – short fight. She was like Kim in her fighting abilities but so much more experienced and, despite the fact that she was older than her, so much faster. The fight ended with Pollux grapping Shego’s neck from behind, threatening to break it.
Yes these were very dark times, for you to Kim Possible, she thought while watching the Boss leaving the hall. Castor gave Shego another sinister look, suggesting ´I´ll get you´. Then he follows his master in the dark.

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What is the post limit by the way ;D

O i just noticed that my swear word turned into ´naco´. funny ;D

[haebman]

www.fanfiction.net/s/2837456/1/

It´s up, but now one comments...

how am I supposed to know if my writing/story is good or utter crap if nobody comments ? ;D

[rmedinap24192]

dude just wait, it always take time for people to review