The Neko Château and Mermaid Cabin - For the Win

[LS]

Sharky: *Glaring furiously at him*

She's very protective of me.

Less oil than she could squeeze out of your greasy hair and hands!

*GLARE*

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

...*slowly pets Clarissa*

I wash my hair! And unlike you, I don't do it in my own toilet water!

[LS]

Sharky: *Glaring at him*

So, yeah, no bopping.

Oh please, it's just a wonder you haven't caught on fire just by walking around with that much grease in it! Let me guess, you wash it in the run-off from the fryers to really lock in that chicken grease smell?

*GLARE*

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

...*slowly pets them both*

You're the worst mermaid I've ever seen, and I've seen the Ningyo!

[patrickdron]

*looks at Sale* why are you irritating Clarissa and Sharky?

[LS]

Sharky: *Snaps at his fingers*

And no getting grabby with her after you've annoyed her.

You'd make the offspring of a Hannya and a Kuchisake-onna look gorgeous! A Kappa wouldn't even be able to reach your Shirikodama with how full of shit you are!

*GLARE*

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

Hey! I'm your mother's friend. See? *pets Clarissa with both hands*

YOU WILL NOT DISPARAGE THE KUCHISAKE-ONNA, YOU UGLY MER!

[LS]

Sharky: *Glaring at him*

Going to take a lot more than that.

You can't even get laid by your own species, you have no ground to stand on for calling people ugly!

*GLARE*

[patrickdron]

Jul 30, 2024 15:49:41 GMT -5 Tsaalyo Phoenix said:

Hey! I'm your mother's friend. See? *pets Clarissa with both hands*

YOU WILL NOT DISPARAGE THE KUCHISAKE-ONNA, YOU UGLY MER!

why are you kissing up to Sharky?

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

...here, see how I submit to her? *kisses Clarissa's tail fin*

I'm so hot, even women from other kingdoms want me!

[LS]

Sharky: *Slowly nestles back in besides Clarissa, glaring at him all the while*

Yeah, don't do that.

You're so atrocious no one from your own kingdom wants you! Plants literally don't give a fuck who they're screwing, they just blast into the air and let whoever gets it take it!

*Glaring at her*

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

You taste weird anyway. *pets them both*

Venus is smarter than the average plant! Smart enough to know QUALITY when she pollinates it!

[LS]

You're definitely the weird one here.

Sharky: *Bites at his hand again*

And yet she chooses not to exercise that skill!

*GLARE*

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

Heeeeyyyy! Please be nice? *pets Clarissa, looking at Sharky* I want to be your friend.

You're dumb! So dumb! Dumbdumb! I hope you get blotchy fin disease!

[LS]

Sharky: *Glaring at him*

... you get she's a shark, not a mer, right? She doesn't actually understand you.

Tsunbaka! You probably have some degenerative brain disease, it's the only explanation for how awful you are!

*Glaring at her

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

*pet pet* ...one of the oldest species on this planet, you'd think they'd understand English by now.

You're the one who lets poo-water get into your ears!

[LS]

Sharky: *Slowly nestles back in beside Clarissa again, giving him the mother of all side eyes as she does*

... do you not know how sharks work? They don't make any noises. Silent and deadly.

Your girlfriend literally eats it, genius! Solidly, not even diluted! Remember that next time you're rolling around her pot!

*Glaring at her

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

*pet pet* So Jaws 4's lion roar was... wrong?

She's a modern plant who uses Miracle Gro!

[LS]

Sharky: *Side-eyeing him*

Do either of us look like a lion to you?

Oh yeah, hooray for biosphere damage, that'll really sustain her after it kills everything that can naturally do it(!)

*Glaring at her

[Tsaalyo Phoenix]

*pet pet* ...she's staring at me.

The only damaged biosphere here is your BRAIN!